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funny-old-mantwo
In Case you were searching for the answer regarding how to Maintain a Healthy Level
 Of    Insanity in RETIREMENT…
1.
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!
2.
On all your check stubs, write, “For Sexual Favors”
3.
Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.
(At our age, who can SKIP?)
4.
With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.
5.
Sing along at The Opera.
6.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
7.
When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
8.
Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go….’
9.
Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: My Favorite…
10.
Go to a large Department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, “There’s no paper in here!”

funnyold-man
This was received from a man who lives in an assisted living building:
We have small apartments, but we eat at a central cafeteria. One morning,
One man didn’t show up for breakfast, so my wife went upstairs and knocked
on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the
door, and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly so she
went back to the dining room.
An hour later he still hadn’t arrived so she went back up toward his room
and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was
having a difficult time. He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to
have trouble getting his legs to work right. She told him she was going to
call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn’t in any pain and just wanted
to have his breakfast. So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs
to the cafeteria and he had his breakfast.
When he tried to go back to his apartment, he was unable to even get up the
first step, so an ambulance was called to take him to the hospital. A couple
of hours later, my wife called the hospital to see how he was doing.
The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one
leg of his boxer shorts.
funny-old-mantwo

It’s been 8 years since that astonishing day that John McCain tapped Sarah Palin as his Vice Presidential running mate.  Since that painful moment, Sarah has proven herself to be just as ignorant, vicious, and  bigoted as she was then.  Only a few things have changed.  (1) Bristol is on her third/fourth/fifth pregnancy. (2) Shailey Tripp is no longer working for Todd. (3) Track has fathered two children out of wed lock.  (4) Sarah is 8 years older.  She has attempted to change her hair, breast size, hair color, facial contour, glasses, but has totally failed to educate herself about political issues.  Sarah has turned on Ted Cruz (She endorsed Trump instead of Cruz)  Sarah has turned on Lisa Murkowski, the Republican Senator from Alaska.  Sarah has turned on John McCain.  (Sarah endorsed Trump and he doesn’t like losers).  Now she’s turned on Trump.

Now she’s reverted back to attacking President Obama, and making references to slavery.  She said:

Fail baby Fail,” “Obama’s destructive ‘energy plan’ enslaves America to unfriendly nations, which he’s been warned about for eight years.”

Thus in one Facebook post Sarah Palin tried to revive the “Drill Baby Drill” slogan, lodge another attack on Obama even though he has days, not months, left in office, and make inappropriate references to slavery.

Palin was complaining about Obama recent executive order blocking oil and gas drilling in Arctic and Atlantic oceans

protesters-kyaks

The order came after hundreds of kayaktivists protested drilling in the Arctic and the Port of Seattle being used as a port for the Shell Oil drilling rig Polar Pioneer.

This was another attempt by President Obama to solidify his environmental legacy.  This order withdraws hundreds of millions of acres of federally owned land in the Arctic and Atlantic Ocean from new offshore oil and gas drilling.  Obama used a little-known law called the Outer Continental Shelf Lands Act to protect large portions of the Chukchi and Beaufort seas in the Arctic and a string of canyons in the Atlantic stretching from Massachusetts to Virginia. In addition to a five-year moratorium already in place in the Atlantic, removing the canyons from drilling puts much of the eastern seaboard off limits to oil exploration even if companies develop plans to operate around them.

The announcement by the White House late in the afternoon was coordinated with similar steps being taken by Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to shield large areas of that nation’s Arctic waters from drilling. Neither measure affects leases already held by oil and gas companies and drilling activity in state waters.

This is not the first time Obama has used the Outer Continental Shelf Lands Act.  He did it to safeguard Alaska’s Bristol Bay in 2014, and again last year to protect part of Alaska’s Arctic coast. The president has protected 125 million acres in the region in the last two years, according to a fact sheet issued by the White House.  Sarah probably didn’t know about those.

 

These areas Obama is trying to protect are widely recognized as major biodiversity hotspots that are critical to fisheries. The canyons provide deep water corals used by a wide array of fish. The area also provides habitat “for . . . deepwater corals, deep diving beaked whales, commercially valuable fishes, and significant numbers of habitat-forming soft and hard corals, sponges, and crabs,” the White House said.

Rhea Suh, president of the Natural Resources Defense Council, called it “a historic victory in our fight to save our Arctic and Atlantic waters, marine life, coastal communities and all they support.” Carter Roberts, president and chief executive of the World Wildlife Fund, applauded what he called “a bold decision” that “signals some places are just too important not to protect.”

Moreover the country is not in need of additional oil resources.  The current oil in the Arctic represents a mere one tenth of one percent of the nation’s oil production overall.  World oil production is in balance. The long decline in U.S. crude oil production appears to be over. September 2016 output increased 60,000 bopd.  Thus, the limits on drilling isn’t “enslaving” America.  Obama has protected the country.

It seems that if there is one issue that would be evident to Sarah Palin from Alaska, it would be the potential for environmental devastation from an oil spill in the Artic.  Has she forgotten the tragedy of the Exxon Valdez oil spill?  Let me remind her:
*Approximately 11 million gallons or 257,000 barrels or 35,000 metric tonnes (38,800 short tons) of oil destroyed the pristine tundra.
*The Exxon Valdez spill, though still one of the largest ever in the United States, has dropped from the top 50 internationally (view a list of top oil spills worldwide). It is widely considered the number one spill worldwide in terms of damage to the environment, however. The timing of the spill, the remote and spectacular location, the thousands of miles of rugged and wild shoreline, and the abundance of wildlife in the region combined to make it an environmental disaster well beyond the scope of other spills.
*Approximately 1,300 miles of shoreline were damaged.
*The spill itself stretched 460 miles from Bligh Reef to the tiny village of Chignik on the Alaska Peninsula.
*The clean up efforts of Exxon cost $2.1 billion.
*The actual number of animals killed is uncertain.  The carcasses of more than 35,000 birds and 1000 sea otters were found after the spill.  However most bodies sink in the ocean, so these numbers are considered to be a small fraction of the death toll.  The best estimates are: 250,000 seabirds, 2,800 sea otters, 300 harbor seals, 250 bald eagles, up to 22 killer whales, and billions of salmon and herring eggs were decimated.

birds-killed-by-exxon-valdez-oil-spill  bird-valdez-oil-spill

dead-sea-otters-exxon-valdez-oil-spill

So it’s been 8 years of Sarah Palin attacking Obama and making inappropriate references to slavery.  No other celebrity or political figure has ever devoted so many years to attacking a politician without any alternative proposals.  No other person has absolved themself of any responsibility for making any positive change while pretending to care about acts of those in power.

We are tired of the same old whine from Sarah Palin.  I’d rather listen to the Four Tops:

 

 


TRUMP FUNNY HOT MESS

It is just possible that Donald Trump will Make America Great Again.

trump make america great with women

However he may not do it by getting elected.  He may bring America together by uniting people in a common effort to defeat him.  Many Republicans, independents, and Democrats agree that a Donald Trump presidency would ensure the end of our country.  From nuclear war to evisceration of the U.S. Constitution, a Trump Presidency is the greatest threat to our country since the Civil War.  The outrage of millennials in the election season is a measure of the danger of a Trump presidency.  Young people are notorious for being “all throat and no vote.”  However Trump may inspire them to turn out and vote.  If so Trump’s loss will be epic.  Young people tend to be liberal.  More than 80% of voters under age 30, voted for Bernie Sanders.

Millennials are the most educated generation in American history, by both total degrees and share of college graduates.

It is Trump’s unbridled bigotry that is most offensive to millennials.  One young voter explained: “I get worried about the bigoted element of our country, and that they will stick with Trump regardless of his stupidity.”   If the trend continues, the Democratic Party will have scored double-digit victories among younger voters in three consecutive elections, the first time that has happened since such data became readily available in 1952. That could shape the political affiliations of the largest generation in American history for years to follow.

In the new survey, half of those under 35 say they identify with or lean toward the Democrats; just 20% identify with or lean toward the Republicans. Seventeen percent are independents, and another 12% either identify with another party or don’t know.  Trump’s weakness among younger voters is unprecedented, lower even than the 32% of the vote that the Gallup Organization calculates Richard Nixon received among 18-to-29-year-old voters in 1972, an era of youthful protests against the Vietnam War.

 

Thus Donald Trump may inspire young people to vote in numbers we haven’t ever seen.    Current estimates are that there are 75.4 Million Millennials in America.    In 2012 an estimated 126 million people voted.    Thus the Millennial vote could account for over half of the voters in the 2016 election, and could determine the outcome. However the gender gap in this election may be the greatest ever.  Some would say that it is because a woman is on the ticket.  However that wasn’t enough in 2008 to carry the election for Hillary.  The fact is that Trump is so offensive to women, that most women would vote for anyone opposing Donald Trump.  It is speculated that at least 56% of the overall vote in 2016 will be female.  It is estimated that over 14 million more women will vote than will men.  Only 29% of women have even a “somewhat favorable opinion of Trump.”

women voters-demos win

The combination of Millennials and women voting should be a clear indication that the loss of Donald Trump in 2016 will be unprecedented.  It is therefore not surprising that Trump is already starting to make excuses for his loss.  It doesn’t take a political expert to see that Donald Trump has proceeded to alienate women, Millenials, Blacks, Hispanics, the Disabled, the Military, and Muslim Americans.  Trump will be left with only a few old white men voting for him.

old white men

They might stay home for fear their spouse will poison their dinner if they vote for Trump!

VB_PoiPl_F06_cvr.indd

 


8

An 8 Year Old’s Description of a Grandparent:

Grandparents are a lady and a man that have no children of their own. They like other people’s. A grandfather is a man and grandmother is a lady.

Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if the drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also why we shouldn’t step on “cracks.”

They don’t say “Hurry up.”

Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don’t have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like “Why isn’t God married,?” and “How come dogs chase cats?”

When they read to us they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if they don’t have television, because they are  the only grownups who like to append time with us.

They know we should have snack-time before bed-time and they say prayersw with us everytime and kiss us when we’ve acted bad.

Grandpa is the smartest man on earth. He teaches me good things, but I don’t see him enough to get as smart as him.

It’s funny when they bend over, you hear gas leaks, and they blame the dog.

 

old lady laughing

Evolution of the Feminine Mystique

Just Say NO to BS

The Ignorance of Sarah Palin

Rebuttal to the Rogue

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