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Admiral Dennis C. Blair
Director of National Intelligence
Somewhere in the Pentagon
Washington D.C., 20066

Dear Half-Term Ex-Governor of Alaska & Self-Designated “Hockey Mom” Sarah Palin,

Somewhere on a stage, before a half-filled auditorium of people who purchased discounted tickets, standing behind a podium made of wood, drinking bottled water through a bendable straw, loving her freedom of choice to say anything she wants, while writing on her hand, seeking divine intervention, having endorsed candidates for political office who have committed welfare fraud, armed robbery, shoplifting and used abortion as their preferred method of birth control.

July 2, 2010

Dear Grandma Palin,

Before I officially step down as Director of National Intelligence, I have one last responsibility to the U.S.A.  I am writing to inform you that you present a national security threat to the great country in which you were so blessed to be born.  I know you didn’t ask, and hoped that I wouldn’t tell, but as long as I hold the position as Director of National Intelligence, I have a mandate from the people to arrest anyone who I may have “reasonable suspicion” to believe is stupider than shit.  You have consistently and repeatedly established yourself as worthy of that distinction.

Many examples of your lack of intelligence are worthy of note.  Just a few memorable moments in your colorful history of stupidity include: (1) suggesting that Ronald Reagan attended Eureka college in CALIFORNIA, (2) suggesting that the solution to the Gulf Oil Spill was to consult the people of the Netherlands and learn how to build dikes, (3) disclosing that you thought Africa was a country, rather than a continent, (4) telling Katie Couric that you read “all of them”, (5) telling Glenn Beck that your favorite founding father was “all of them,” (6) telling Katie Couric that you had foreign policy experience because when Putin comes to the U.S., he enters Alaskan air-space first, (7) saying that you are a feminist, and that you would never stand for any measure that would result in a woman being paid less than a man for equal work, and then opposing the Ledbetter Fair Pay act, (8) when you wrote three simple words on your hand, you got one wrong, and had to cross it out, (9)  calling Joe Biden, Joe “O’Biden” on national television, (10) being unable to pronounce the word “nuclear”, calling it “nucular”, (11) saying that you were not a “quitter” while announcing that you were quitting your job as Governor, (12) even though you were pregnant when you married, you failed to have the “sex talk” with Bristol who you “probably knew” was having sex with Levi, (13) indicating that you had seen human footprints inside dinosaur tracks, (14) suggesting that we should not take measures to curb global warning,(15) suggesting that the world was only 6000 years old, and (16) indicating that Joe McGinnis was invading your privacy by living next door to you when you are the one that took a picture of HIM.

Because it was part of God’s plan that you and John McCain would never see the inside of the White House, I was willing to laugh at your stupidity in private.  However before leaving office it is my duty to inform you that in the interest of National Intelligence you must refrain from any further speaking in public.  Additionally, if you appear in public you are hereinafter required to carry proof of citizenship.  The Office of National Intelligence has reasonable suspicion to believe that anyone so limited intellectually could not be an American citizen.

Until now, America didn’t need the Director of National Intelligence to highlight your many deficiencies.  A retard (in the satirical sense) could do that. You actions have not only brought embarrassment to the country, but you are now causing the nation to remain in debt.  I know you have promoted smaller government, limiting governmental spending, and a reduction of taxes.  You are personally in a position to assist the government in accomplishing all three objectives.  If you would be willing to refrain from any further public speaking appearances, your actions alone might be enough to bring the national debt to a manageable level.  In my department alone I have 144 people devoted to the “SPDS” Division (Sarah Palin is a Dumb Shit).  This division alone represents an expense in excess of $1 million dollars.  The Center for Disease Control has been forced to dedicate an entire department to PDS (Palin Derangement Syndrome).  The director advises that this illness has reached epidemic proportions, and that the expense to his department is “unsustainable”.  Our military has experienced a record number of cases of psychological trauma, requiring hospitalization, every time you give a speech.  If you continue to give speeches the military will have to initiate construction of a new veterans’ hospital to serve their needs.  Additionally we may be forced to reinstitute the draft because men and women are no longer willing to risk their lives for a country associated with Sarah Palin.

Please understand that I am not asking you to discontinue public appearances.  If you could simply refrain from speaking in any public forums, the cost saving to the country would be staggering. You could set an example for the average “Joe” of the potential impact a single citizen could make if they love their country.  Understand it would be perfectly acceptable to continue to wave and wink.  By limiting yourself to gestures, instead of tossing the usual word-salad and you might actually improve your image.  I know that it is important to you that you think anything you do is part of God’s Plan, so I wrote a letter to you, as though it were from your Creator.  You know God doesn’t make mistakes:

Sarah, you are a blessing to the American people.  Because I only want what is best for America, I gave you to America to help teach the country a lesson.  I put in your parent’s hearts that your name should be “Stupid Sarah”, to help people understand your limitations from the moment they met you.  Your parents didn’t understand and didn’t have the faith necessary to do as I asked.  By limiting your name to simply “Sarah”, it took the American people longer to realize your “special needs”.  Your parents prayed for divine intervention, but they didn’t pray hard enough.  I gave your parents lots of time to think about having a stupid child.  You have been able to give people of the country perspective.  Responding to the many foolish things you have said unites them in a common purpose.  Nothing binds people together like adversity.  The possibility of you ever becoming the President of the United States was enough to put fear in the hearts of Republican, Democrat, and Independent voters.  Millions of people, regardless of political party, were horrified by the possibility that you would ever have control of the “nucular” codes.  Every time you used the phrase “common sense” in your speeches, you bravely reminded people of your own special needs.  I appreciate your willingness to be so bold as to recognize and admit your own limitations.

You were created with a “special and awesome purpose”.  I know it will take time to grasp this…and perhaps you never will.  Please understand that I only want the best for America.  Your stupidity, and the risk of having you as the leader of the country, was enlightening for the entire country.  You taught by example.  People around the country realized that their vote was important.  For the first time in decades people began to realize that if they did not vote, their elected officials might have an I.Q. equal to that of the janitor, rather than a professor of Constitutional law.  Please understand that this letter is in no way intended to mock your family, or the Christian religion, but only you.

The country has learned its lesson, and your popularity is beginning to decline.  I understand you are now writing a children’s book, and I applaud your ability to recognize your limitations.  If you find a ghost writer, and a talented artist, a picture book for 2-3 year old children is a challenge you are ready to accept.  However it will not be easy.  I encourage you to devote yourself to this ambitious goal.  With prayer and devotion you will find success.


Your Heavenly Father and Your Creator

As the Director of National Intelligence, I implore you to be quiet.  Every time you open your mouth the perceived intelligence of the entire country is compromised.  If we are to discourage our enemies from attacking us, we must convince them that we have more than a child understands of the world.  We must create the illusion that all the people of the U.S. are smarter than you.  I implore you to do this for the sake of the country.  One day you may have the intellect to run for city council, but that time is not yet here.  Until that time, please refrain from talking.  Write on your right hand these two words, “shut up”.  Write on your left hand these two words, “waive and wink”.


The Director of National Intelligence

Sarah Palin announced yesterday, Jan. 11, 2009 that she had joined the “management team” at Fox News.  Indicating her excitement she explained that it was “wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balanced news”.  Having devoted the last year to research and writing of “Rebuttal to the Rogue”, I have created a permanent record of the multitude of “misstatements” “untruths” “mischaracterizations” or flat-out lies that Ex-Governor Palin has told. Even though the book has over 400 footnotes documenting the sources for all I have said, some might still suggest that I am not objective. Yet, even an objective observer would have to admit that Fox News tends to present only the conservative view of the news and doesn’t make an attempt to present “fair and balanced news”.

On the same day that Palin announced her association with Fox News, “Game Changeappeared on the shelves of our local book stores.  Authored by John Heilemann a national political correspondent and columnist for New York magazine, and Mark Halperin a senior political analyst for Time magazine, “Game Change” affirms all that has been reported in “Rebuttal to the Rogue”, and then goes beyond anything I have reported to suggest that Palin is “mentally unstable” (pg 401).  Consider the multiple comments of this political correspondent and analyst:

    1. The McCain campaign was ill equipped to present and defend McCain’s choice. (pg. 365)
    2. In talking about questions regarding the vet of Palin, there were serious questions regarding the staff’s pick of Palin, and McCain’s sense of responsibility about governance.  (pg 367)
    3. Cheney told his friends that Palin was “woefully unprepared, and McCain had made a reckless choice”.(pg 368)
    4. They had to attempt to teach Palin to say “NEW-clear” instead of “NUKE-u-lar”.(Pg. 371)
    5. Palin had a tendency to “shade the truth”.  Specific examples included the Bridge to Nowhere, selling the jet on E-Bay, making victims pay for their rape exam kits in Wasilla, Troopergate, asserting that she and Todd had gone without health insurance, and her promise to McCain to affirm his position supporting stem cell research, which she later did not do.  (pg. 396)
    6. Her grasp of rudimentary facts and concepts was minimal. (pg. 397)
    7. Palin didn’t know why North and South Korea were separate nations.  (pg. 397)
    8. Palin thought Saddam Hussein was responsible for 9-11. (pg. 397)
    9. Palin didn’t know who the enemy was in Iraq that her son would be fighting.(pg 397)
    10. There were “two Sarahs”.  One was the “perky” one, and the other was a woman in a strange blue funk.  (pg. 398)
    11. Palin’s eyes could be glassy and dead (pg. 398)
    12. Palin could be sitting in silence, unresponsive, and might complain that she was “fat”. (pg. 398)
    13. On the campaign trail, Palin would often not eat at all, or eat only a few pieces of steak for the entire day.  She might only drink half of a can of diet soda an entire day; she might not drink any water, and was not sleeping more than 2-3 hours per night. (pg. 400)
    14. She was reportedly in a “catatonic stupor” two days before the Vice-Presidential debate (pg. 400)
    15. Palin was “mentally unstable”.  (pg 401)
    16. Schmidt thought Palin was irrational.(pg 401)
    17. McCain was uneasy about Palin’s mental state. (pg 401)
    18. Palin looked dazed, and her mental stability was in question (pg 402,403)
    19. Her reason for asking Senator Biden to “call you Joe” was that she kept calling him Senator “O’Biden”.(pg 405)
    20. Palin’s psychological fragility might lead to a fiasco (pg. 407)
    21. Palin often deviated from the script.  (pg 408)
    22. Palin said: “I know what I know what I know”.  (pg 409)
    23. Palin was a “big time control freak”. (pg 409)
    24. Some people in the McCain camp believed Palin was “unfit for high office”.  (pg 415)
    25. Some in the McCain-world were ridden with guilt over elevating Palin to within striking distance of the White House.  (pg 416)

The McCain camp was the group of Republicans who chose Palin, so if there were ever a group of people who would be complimentary of Sarah Palin it would be this group.  Given their comments, does Fox News indicate Fox’s commitment to the liberation of the American woman and presenting “fair and balanced news” or just ratings?

Some say that the only requirement for a female on Fox News is attractive legs.

Do you think Sarah Palin’s legs qualify her to be a correspondent at Fox News, or is it her mental stability that attracted Fox News to her?

Evolution of the Feminine Mystique

Just Say NO to BS

The Ignorance of Sarah Palin

Rebuttal to the Rogue


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