Sarah Palin Reveals Track Palin’s New Year Resolutions

It’s been a tough year for Track Palin.  He was recently arrested as a result of beating up his father.  Poor Track. It’s hard for people to understand the pressure of being an amputee and the son of Sarah Palin.

Track Palin's ex-girlfriend Jordan Loewe (pictured together) has filed for full custody of their three-month-old son Charlie Mitchell Palin

On top of that there is the constant pressure of remembering who’s the mother of each of his kids, and where he can and can’t go.  There are all those restraining orders!  Who could keep track?  Track often wakes up at night and wonders who is his father, and why was he the Son of Sarah?  What did he do to deserve such a fate?

2018 is a New Year and Track has vowed to make this his best year ever.  Sarah Palin revealed the New Year Resolutions of her oldest son.  It’s not clear why Sarah was the one to report Track’s resolutions.  Speculation is that this is just another manifestation of Track’s PTSD.  An alternative theory is that Track is going to be the subject of Sarah’s new book.  The theory is that Sarah has devised a way to combine a classic children’s book,

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and a famous Christmas classic, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.”

Her new book bears the title “Home for the Holidays with Dad.” It’s the classic tale of a young man on house arrest who discovers his mother’s diary and a passage relating to an unnamed neighbor who kept her company while Todd was away fishing.

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Sarah reports that Track has resolved that in 2018 he:

  1.  Will never threaten to beat the shit out of Todd when Todd’s holding a gun.

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2.  Will never again consume alcohol and drugs at the same time.

3.  If he fathers any more children, it won’t be with Jordan or Britta, as they have both gotten restraining orders to keep him away from them.

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4.  He won’t do any more cross dressing.

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5.  He won’t allow any more pictures to be taken of him in prison attire.

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6.  When posing for a picture, he’ll only use his thumbs like mom.

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7.  If he gets another tat, it will be of mom.

8. From now on he will only punch male friends.

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9. If there is another family brawl, he’ll win this time.  He won’t let Bristol defend his honor, and he’ll let Tripp sit in the front seat of the limo.

Flesh wound: Track's bloody elbow is photographed by officers on the scene

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10.  If Track vandalizes any vehicles now it will be police cars instead of buses.

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Image result for anchorage police car


7 thoughts on “Sarah Palin Reveals Track Palin’s New Year Resolutions

Add yours

  1. The bar is so low for these Palin children. Their mother is the reason. Their mother Sarah Palin is a complete failure as a human being. What kind of mother produces such failures as children? Sarah Palin did. She did that. All on her own. The crazy dysfunctional woman created little monster replicas of herself. All media must focus on getting her. She has broken all universal law. Her evil is hell pure.


    1. Balk,
      When she was nominated by McCain it seemed so obvious that she was a pathetic excuse for a mother and a politician. Some people wondered why I felt so compelled to write, but as time goes by it is clear why she should be shamed into oblivion!


    2. So you’re admitting your jealousy for a woman who raised strong and good kids who’ve survived abusive liberals who dedicate brain space to lying? Because you just revealed youre jealous of her with your lies.


  2. 11. Next time he’s drunk and feels like hitting women, he will enter the Octagon and try his luck with some female MMA fighters, no cup and no low kick rules.


  3. Bristol’s 9 yr old son understands what terrible people liberals are, and that they’re hypocrites. When he does and you, Malia, don’t, it’s sad.

    You’re just giving more examples that liberals like you are fucked up and career liars.


  4. Hey Maria, or should I call you Sarah, Bristol or maybe even Willow…..? You’re probably lost – you stumbled upon the wrong site. We follow Malia because she’s not a crazy, vindictive, drunken mess spouting lies and living the dream off of OPM.

    We prefer truth, integrity, intelligence and sober thoughts shared by a successful woman who represents the better side of humanity.

    If your 9 year old son, (grandson or nephew) believes liberals are bad people, it’s because you put those ugly thoughts inside his head. Just as you have done to him on many occasions and numerous subjects, including your parental alienation towards his dad and stepmom. See the door? Just open it and leave the room quietly. K?
    Thanks! XO


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