Trump Conflicted About Killing Triceratops!

The fact that Donald Trump’s sons have slaughtered animals in Africa is so common knowledge that it has become the subject of humorous media coverage.  IT was reported that his son killed a triceratops.
Image result for trump jr hunting
According to witnesses at the zoo’s Elephant Outpost, Donald Trump Jr. told his son to aim for a calf that had wandered away from its mother in search of a play partner.

The Onion reported:

“In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

The daylong excursion, during which father and son could be seen wearing matching khaki fatigues and safari hats, was reportedly an opportunity for Trump Jr. to introduce the young boy to hunting by showing him how to track a wild animal through a zoo exhibit, set up the perfect shot just outside a fenced enclosure, and, if possible, hit the target right between the eyes as it lies sleeping.

 “That’s it, D.J.—steady the barrel along the edge of the guardrail, just like that,” Trump Jr. whispered, appearing to swell with pride as Donald John III crouched near an ice cream stand in the zoo’s Cheetah Conservation Station and took aim at a cub playing inside a small enclosure 10 feet below. “Be very quiet or you’ll spook him. Now, whenever you’re ready, just exhale slowly and squeeze the trigger.”

“Great shot, son!” Trump Jr. continued as three valets from the hunting party set down the Trumps’ gear and entered the cheetah habitat to field-dress the carcass. “Let’s keep this spot until the zookeeper comes to feed them. When that happens, they’ll all move out into the open and we’ll be able to get a few more.”

According to sources, Trump Jr. and his son crept quietly along the paved footpaths—staying low and occasionally ducking behind an information kiosk—in the hopes of remaining undetected as they approached their next targets, Wilma and Zora, the two American bison housed by the zoo. Both animals were reportedly lapping water from a trough and caught unaware, allowing the father-son duo to take each of them out with three quick shots to the head, use a bowie knife to cut off the horns for souvenirs, and then continue on their way to the picnic pavilion for hot dogs and sodas.

“The key to hunting is biding your time, D.J.—wait until those sea lions are trapped between the tank wall and your line of fire so you can get a clear shot at them before they swim away,” said Trump Jr., peering through the scope of his rifle at the aquatic mammals sunning themselves on a concrete embankment. “Later, when we go inside the Great Ape House, you’re going to be tempted to take a shot right away, but you have to be patient.”

“Eventually an orangutan will come down from its tire swing to grab a piece of fruit,” he added. “When that happens—bam, you nail him!”

 Reports confirmed the highlight of the expedition came when Trump Jr. took down the zoo’s giant panda Tian Tian with just two shots, the first bullet shattering the Plexiglas barrier and the second hitting the animal directly in the heart. The Trumps reportedly took the opportunity to pose with their prized trophy, each triumphantly placing a foot on the blood-drenched panda as a hired photographer captured the moment.

The jubilant father and son reportedly ended their day by honing their marksmanship at the Small Mammal House, picking off mongooses one by one as they poked their heads out of their burrows.

“D.J., I was very proud of you out there today,” a misty-eyed Trump Jr. said as he tousled his son’s hair and tenderly wiped a smear of giant anteater blood from the boy’s cheek. “Maybe someday, when you have a son of your own, you’ll take him to the zoo and kill something really great like a white rhino, or, who knows, maybe you’ll take him to an aquarium and bag a dolphin. Even I haven’t done that.”

 At press time, having deemed a gazelle carcass too small to make a good wall mount, the Trumps had abandoned the dead animal near a lemonade cart to rot in the sun.
 According to witnesses at the zoo’s Elephant Outpost, Donald Trump Jr. told his son to aim for a calf that had wandered away from its mother in search of a play partner.”


Image result for trump jr hunting

The truth is that Trump’s sons are big game hunters and quite proud of it.  These photos demonstrate just how proud they are of their ability to kill animals with the help of many other hunters in Africa.  After watching an elephant being killed the President has now indicated he is conflicted about the killing of innocent animals.  The president’s abrupt reversal Friday means that elephants shot for sport in Zimbabwe and Zambia cannot be imported by American hunters as trophies.

Image result for trump sons big game hunting

The focus of the President’s decision related to elephants.  Amazingly  Donald Jr posed with the tail of an elephant which he appears to have just cut off. The pictures surfaced in 2012.

Image result for trump jr hunting

Image result for trump jr hunting

Image result for trump jr hunting

Image result for trump jr hunting

“Put big game trophy decision on hold until such time as I review all conservation facts,” Trump wrote Friday evening on Twitter. “Under study for years. Will update soon with [Interior] Secretary [Ryan] Zinke. Thank you!”

That halted a decision by his own U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service on Wednesday to end a 2014 government ban on big-game trophy hunting in Zimbabwe and Zambia. Under U.S. law, the remains of African elephants, which are listed as threatened under the Endangered Species Act, can be imported only if federal officials have determined that hunting them benefits the species more broadly.

It is amazing that the Trump family could ever defend killing these amazing animals by suggesting that killing them would actually benefit the species.  The next thing expected from the White House is that Trump will issue an executive order allowing killing of African Animals by only those hunters who stay in the Trump Towers in Zimbabwe or Zambia and donate to the Donald Trump wildlife foundation operated by an anonymous Russian mobster.

Russian trophy hunter

One thought on “Trump Conflicted About Killing Triceratops!

Add yours

  1. Someday, somehow, we can only pray that these hunters learn what it’s like to be on the wrong side of a fixed competition. Ideally their car would break down in a bad part of New Jersey, just across the river. Then they become the prey, rich kids in a concrete jungle of streetwise people. They’d have it better than the African animals; all they have to do is swim across the Hudson.


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