Trump Declares His Birthday to be a National Holiday!


As my previous post reveals, today is Donald Trump’s 71st birthday.

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Sean Spicer hasn’t announced yet what the President will do to celebrate his birthday, so we are left to speculate.  Here’s what I imagine Trump will do:

  1. He’ll declare June 14th as a national holiday.  People around the country, along with members of the cabinet, will take off work to spend time paying tribute to our amazing President.

2.  Trump is giving himself a surprise party and invited some of his best buddies.

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3.  Trump has ordered the White House Chef to bring him his favorite foods.

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4.  Trump is transforming the White House to the Gold House, and memorializing his occupancy of the house.

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5. Trump has announced a new policy that pictures will no longer be allowed in the National Mall for security reasons.

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6.  Trump has announced a new design for the $20 Dollar Bill.

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7.  Trump declares a National insect.

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8.  Trump declares that the national bird will no longer be the eagle.

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9.  Melania’s gift to Trump for his birthday is a dog.

 

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10.  Sean Spicer has announced the designation of a new national plant…the bush.

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11. Kellyanne Conway has announced a new line of Donald Trump microwave ovens that include a camera feature.

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12.  Trump just announced a new type of beauty pageant…its called “Miss American Trump Woman” and the contestants have to allow Trump to grab them to enter.

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13.  Trump asked for the Pope’s blessing on his birthday.

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14. Melania wasn’t very happy about being married to a 71 year old man.

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15.  Ivanka is planning a surprise present for her daddy on his birthday.

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16.  In celebration of his birthday, Trump will give every veteran a sticker to commemorate their service.

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17.  Trump announced a special party for his Muslim friends, who have a net worth in excess of a billion dollars,  where he’ll serve them a special cake.

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18.  People on the invitation list to the surprise birthday party had to pledge their loyalty to Trump or they’d be removed from the list.  James Comey’s name was removed.

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19.  If we could go back in time, we’d tell Trump’s daddy to take precautions 9 months before Trump’s birthday!

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6 thoughts on “Trump Declares His Birthday to be a National Holiday!

Add yours

  1. OMG!
    Malia, I am dyin’ with screen induced laughter.
    You just gave me a really nice birthday present on the orangutan’s B-day.

    And my birthday is not until February of next year!
    Thank you for some much appreciated hilarity.

    Like

  2. Such a funny collection of pictures and quotes!! Although, I must ell you I like ice cream cones. After seeing Trump’s face on that one I may never be able to enjoy one again.

    No doubt you are knee deep on the shooting in VA. Unfortunately – also one in San Fran today. The world gets crazier and scarier every day.

    Like

  3. Your post = Not™ Fake™ News™

    Just a quick recap of his birthday:

    1. Morning – mass shooting of House GOP ball team.
    2. Afternoon – 200 Representatives file federal lawsuit against him.
    3. Evening – Muehler officially declares him under investigation, for the same charges that took down Nixon.

    Like

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