Best Insults You Wish You Could Modify to Describe Donald Trump

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”  
“That depends, Sir, “ said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
“He had delusions of adequacy .”  
-Walter Kerr
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”                 
                                        – Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”  
Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”  
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
 “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”  
 -Moses Hadas
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”  
-Mark Twain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”                                          
    -Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.”  
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
 “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”  
 -Winston Churchill, in response
 “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”  
 -Stephen Bishop
 He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”  
 -John Bright
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”    
                     -Irvin S. Cobb
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”         
             -Samuel Johnson
 “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”   – Paul Keating
 “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”                        -Charles, Count Talleyrand
 “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”   -Forrest Tucker
 “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?      -Mark Twain
 “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”                       
   -Mae West
 “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”   
-Oscar Wilde
 “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.”  
 -Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
 “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
  -Billy Wilder
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.”  
 -Groucho Marx

10 thoughts on “Best Insults You Wish You Could Modify to Describe Donald Trump

Add yours

  1. Oh, dear. The stork one. I have a dollhouse with a small tower. There is a bird’s nest on top of the tower, and a vaguely stork-like bird in the nest. At first I thought I’d have to change that arrangement, but since it’s now guaranteed to make me cackle when I see it, it’s staying.

    Wonderful quotes. Thank you. 😉


  2. Why limit the insults to Drumpf? How about:

    KELLYANNE: Sir Winston, you’re drunk!

    CHURCHILL: I may be drunk, madam, and you are ugly. But in the morning
    I shall be sober, and you will still be ugly.


  3. These are great and satisfy our need to let off steam. BUT, the only way to really insult and/or get to this administration is indifference and a topic, Trump, blackout. CNN did it with the new version of the Muslim ban, refusing to publish the White House photo of Trump and his coloring book. Offer a Trump free news alternative and he and his minions will implode.

    What I am seeing is that Trump’s press team has the same mental defect or “skill” that allows them to believe the lies they are saying. They seem to be robotic clones. There is no sense of humanity, just anticipation of how the clone will twist or divert from truth.


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