Sarah Palin Being Considered For Ambassador to Antarctica


In the tradition of “Fake News,” anonymous sources within  the Trump administration have confirmed that the Donald is considering appointment of Sarah Palin as ambassador to Antarctica.  Steve Bannon has revealed that Palin would be ideal for the position for several reasons:

  1.  Her family would be thrilled if she’d move far away.
  2. The is no government in Antartica, so there wouldn’t be any office for Sarah to be elected to and then quit.
  3. The Antarctic Treaty of 1959 prohibits military activities, so Sarah would not be able to cause a nuclear holocaust.

nuclear-explosion

4.  The population of Antarctica varies between 1000 in the winter and 5000 in the summer.  That population is similar to that of Wasilla, the city that Palin calls home.

5.  There are no libraries in Antarctica so Sarah wouldn’t be tempted to ban books about anything.

daddys-roommate

6.  Nobody in Antarctica gets raped.  Men who live in Antarctica would rather keep their pants zipped.  That means there is no need for rape exam kits that Palin could charge women for.

7.  There are no roads in Antarctica, so Palin would have no ability to waste money on a road leading to nowhere.

road-to-nowhere

8.  There are very few animals in Antarctica, so Palin wouldn’t be able to kill many animals.

palin-wolves

9.  Antarctica has 1,150 species of fungi, about 100 species of mosses, and 25 species of liverworts.  Nobody knows what liverworts is, so when Palin explains what they are, nobody will know differently.


 10.  There is no economic activity in Antarctica, so Sarah couldn’t do damage to the economic systems in place.
palin-idiot
11.  There is no drilling in Antarctica, so when Sarah chants “Drill baby drill” people would tend to think she was advocating the need for a dentist to move to Antarctica.
palin-cartoon-spill-baby-spill
12.  It doesn’t really matter if Antarctica is a continent or a country, so Sarah wouldn’t be embarrassed about her ignorance of geography.
13.  There isn’t a hospital in Antarctica, so there would be no logical reason for Sarah to have her next baby there.
14.  It’s too cold in Antarctica to go camping, so Bristol wouldn’t get pregnant again.
camping-feet
15.  It’s too expensive to keep prostitutes in Antarctica, so Sarah wouldn’t have to avoid any embarrassing massages.
todd-palin-natl-enquirer-shailey-tripp
16.  There  are no reality shows being filmed in Antarctica so Sarah wouldn’t be rejected by any network.
palin-rules
17.  There are no newspapers in Antarctica, so there would be nothing to read.
18.  There is no Supreme Court in Antarctica, so there would be no need to learn anything about the Constitutional law of Antarctica.

 

 

Some main-stream media has reported that Palin is actually being considered by Trump as his Ambassador to Canada.  

palin-canada-flag

  Twitter went wild.  Canadians were apoplectic.  The only thing Sarah Palin knows about Canada is how to take advantage of their health care system.

palin-canada-health-care

 

 

15 thoughts on “Sarah Palin Being Considered For Ambassador to Antarctica

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  1. Might the one spot on the globe she can’t see Russia from. She could cackle at Penguins all day long and not offend any with her word salad. Antarctica might be the one place on Earth colder than her soul. Go for it.

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  2. Since I am not from anywhere near Alaska and have never seen a live wolf maybe some of you in the know can enlighten moi. Is it normal for all dead wolves to have either a block of wood attached to their chins or an airplane strapped under them? Color me curious from iowa.

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      1. Reign of terror? Funny, people were quite happy and her colleagues miss her. When she was in juneau, Britta would email they miss her in the Anch office.

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  3. Sarah is a monstrous idiot child. She will be remembered as such. A cryogenic entombment would be fitting but unnecessary. She’s finished but her hissing, biting, and hitting will continue for a while.

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    1. @mossy??? Here you are again sniffing behind Sarah ‘stinky’ Palin. She was not missed by anyone until payday when her unemployed brood wanted to go shopping. Sure, Britta couldn’t wait to be punched by Track, that is why she visits the Palins sooooo much. Why don’t you concentrate your energy on finding jobs for the compound full of unemployed dependents? When will Track go back to jail for non-support?

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  4. We need to throw up an embassy on that ice shelf that is ready to break away. Send her there and we can forget about her when it floats away.

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      1. Would that ice shelf have room for a Red Bull dispenser and a tanning bed?

        Just so you know not all crazy congresscritters are confined to big red states. here is a doozy from a first term wingnut congressman from South Dakota- Tapio on Medicaid: Kill It, But Don’t Get Rid of It

        He was confronted at a cracker barrel meet and greet and asked about Medicaid and then he clarified his kill it remarks later.

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