Getting Old is Hell


funnyold-man
This was received from a man who lives in an assisted living building:
We have small apartments, but we eat at a central cafeteria. One morning,
One man didn’t show up for breakfast, so my wife went upstairs and knocked
on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the
door, and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly so she
went back to the dining room.
An hour later he still hadn’t arrived so she went back up toward his room
and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was
having a difficult time. He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to
have trouble getting his legs to work right. She told him she was going to
call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn’t in any pain and just wanted
to have his breakfast. So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs
to the cafeteria and he had his breakfast.
When he tried to go back to his apartment, he was unable to even get up the
first step, so an ambulance was called to take him to the hospital. A couple
of hours later, my wife called the hospital to see how he was doing.
The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one
leg of his boxer shorts.
funny-old-mantwo

21 thoughts on “Getting Old is Hell

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  1. Now that was really funny. Not as funny as when I was 20 yrs younger, but still funny. One time I looked down and saw I had a sock on one foot, and a slipper on the other. Was not dementia, but couldnt tell the slipper had come off due to nueropathy. Both feet were nice and warm. And I was at home. Grocery store probably would not have been amused. Ha! mermaid

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    1. Michele,
      I was sitting in the weight room doing my twice per week exercises and there are mirrors on all the walls…I guess so you can feel proud that you’re not so old that you can’t lift the weights. I look at myself in the mirror and realize that it looks like my head is on crooked! The diamond stud earrings that I always wear are not symmetrical. One hangs lower than the other! The problem isn’t that the piercing of my ears 40 years ago was not even. The problem is that as I’ve aged, one ear lobe sags more than the other. It’s bad enough that we have to deal with all the aches and pains, gray hair, and sagging body parts, but do we have to look like our heads are set on our body crooked?

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  2. Indeed it is Malia but the frustrations of being old are bearable when you contemplate the alternative. I should declare an interest as i get to 70 this year.

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    1. Hi World,
      It is the only thing that helps me cope with this calamity of our current President! He is offensive, divisive, dangerous, and immoral, and the greatest danger to our democracy in my life time!

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      1. Oh Dear Malia, I think you know I’m right there with you. Never in my life has someone aged me and internally harmed my health as this insane ass. The fact that he outright stole this election from a more than qualified person due to lies, fake news, a foreign dictator and the Gop hiring foreign riggers is too much. I will not stop fighting for justice until they are charged and in jail. Which I will probably die first. But. I will haunt them all forever. I’m taking up weight lifting and boxing to release. It works wonders. Exercise is Medicine.

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      1. Bets in Las Vegas are that trump will be impeached soon. He will never be a usa president. He is a temporary squatter. He did not win. He cheated and he knows it. He is a mentally ill liar.

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  3. The Yogi Berra walk is an acquired skill. Yogi once said “If you find a fork in the road, take it.” Your feet are in a single leg, then the pants present the fork in the road, so you sent one foot down each path. Great for preventing hyperextended calves and hamstrings.

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  4. I recall a quip by an elderly person concerning brushing his teeth. He said the only way he could be sure was to check the brush to see if it was wet.

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  5. “Retarded Grandparents”
    Written by a third grader, on what his grandparents do.

    After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their
    holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:
    We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used
    to live in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to
    Arizona. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look
    like grass.
    They ride around on their bicycles, and wear name tags, because
    they don’t know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wreck
    center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do
    exercises there, but they don’t do them very well.
    There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.
    At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so
    nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf
    carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing
    every night – early birds.
    Some of the people can’t get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck. My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn
    his retardment, and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday
    too.
    When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then
    I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren
    .

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