Sarah Palin’s Failures on Her 2016 Resolutions


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It was January 1st exactly one year ago that I published a list of New Years Resolutions that I thought Sarah Palin might have made.  Today we look back over the last year to see if she accomplished any.

1.  Divorce Todd, the two-toned pimp.-Failed

2.  Spend at least 2 minutes each day with Trig.-Failed.  It appears Sarah has shipped Trig back to his mother.

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    3. 3.    Visit my granddaughter Kyla at least once.  Failed.  We haven’t seen one picture of Sarah and Kyla this year!

    4.  4.  Go to church at least once. Failed.  We haven’t seen one picture or post or Twitter remark about Palin attending church.

    5.  5.  Limit the number of plastic surgeries for the year to five.  Probably.  Sarah would surely look better if she’d had more surgery.

    palin-trump-wyoming-fatpalinplasticsurgery-onepalin-fat-twopalinplastic-surgery-twopalin-injured

    6.  6.  Always appear in public with the same size bust.  Unclear.

    palin pink shirt new york

    palin no boobs

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    7.  7.  Always wear gloves when applying tanning solutions. N/A    It appears she has given up on tanning all together.

    palin tan hand

    8.  8.  Stop giving speeches. Totally Failed!

    9. 9.   Wait to quit my next job until I have deleted all e-mails.  Failed, Sarah never got another job.

    10.  10.  Read something…even if it is the directions on the bottle of tanning solution.  No evidence to indicate she read anything this year.

    11.  11.  When going to a party, or family brawl, always take three members of the APD with me who know who I am.  Palin simply stopped brawling with the family and left it up to Track to hit and kick his pregnant girl friend.

    anchorage police

    12. 12. Write a book about how to tell a lie and make yourself believe it. Failed.  No books were written this year.

    13. 13.  Write a book about maps in Alaska.  Failed

    14.  14.  Write a book about hunting witches for fun and profit.Failed

    15.  15.  Take shooting lessons. If she did, there is no evidence of it. Failed

    palin grizzley bear

    16.  16.  Find out what moose meat really tastes like. Failed

    17.  17.  Now that I have a biracial grandchild,

    sailor grace tripp

    I’ll pretend to embrace her diversity. Failed.  Sarah is still talking about slavery.  She did it 6 months ago, and just a couple of days ago        .

    palin-shackles

    (a)     (a)Introduce her to my black friend Glen. Failed.

    glen rice

    (b)   (b)I’ll quit talking about moose chili, and instead talk about moose chitterlings. Failed.

    (c)    (c)I’ll pretend to like Drake,  Failed.

    and I’ll get a shirt for Todd to wear. Failed.

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3 thoughts on “Sarah Palin’s Failures on Her 2016 Resolutions

Add yours

  1. There is no wonder why she adores and worships the trump’s pile of drama. Flies*+ Shit go together in the septic system of lies and con artist. And mr trump announced that he knows more than anybody about the riggers and hackers. He will tell us about it on Tuesday or Wednesday.

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  2. Malia –

    She has failed at almost everything. The one thing she has succeeded at is fostering hate and division – and we are paying a heavy price for that.

    Like

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