Obama’s 8th White House Correspondence Dinner

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  1. Donald Trump’s 2017 New Year’s Resolutions
    by Shelby Slauer
    Published December 23, 2016 More Info »

    Work out AT LEAST 4 times a week.
    Watch that unwatchable show Saturday Night Live less.
    NO soda!
    Limit watching of SNL to reasonable amount – once a week?
    Come up with foreign policy.
    Okay maybe some soda on Mondays and Wednesdays (if I’m good).
    Get 8 hours of sleep EVERY night.
    Learn to love myself more than I already love myself.
    Read more! 2017 is the year I finish a book!
    Don’t watch SNL live, just watch the clips that people are talking about online the next day on Hulu.
    Soda on any day but ONLY soda with no caffeine (note: look into if Surge has caffeine).
    Get a whole bunch of nukes.
    Learn how computers work – ask Baron’s tutor for tutorial.
    Eat healthy. More sandwiches. Maybe call Subway and get them to donate gift cards to White House? Maybe they are looking for new spokesperson post-Jared?
    Ask China to be for real with me about the climate change hoax.
    Watch SNL and comment on skits faster – people are waiting for my take on the latest skits! Need to oblige.
    Soda okay.
    Enact the goals from my first 100 days contract that I feel like.
    Be more organized.
    Finally finish reading that WikiHow article about how to be president.
    Call Surge soda and “suggest” they make donation of several crates of Surge soda to White House.
    Find way to blame Hillary/Obama for when I fail to enact all of my goals from my first 100 days contract.
    Demand CIA give me the Men In Blank memory erase device to use at State of the Union to make America forget about “draining the swamp” and other so-called campaign “promises”
    Be more organized about my flossing.
    Find another empty slogan to steal from Reagan for when “Make America great again”stops working.

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  2. Who would be on the new year eve party guest list at the famous mar largo resort? Sylvester stall lone is one mentioned and 799 members and guest more…….. Some flew home on the Russian charter for the new year. President Obama is the Greatest. Happy Aloha and New Year America.


  3. Also, Britta didn’t “win” full custody. When Track filed dissolution because he wasnt happily married, he gave her primary custody because mothers should have primary. he saw her regularly when home from overseas and sees her when he’s not working. Britta knows the Palins are good people. Willow IS her hair stylist and Bristol babysat Kyla before K was in preschool.

    Let’s not commit child abuse by discussing things that aren’t out business. We ruined Levi’s life and Bristol appropriately has primary custody there.


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