E-Mail from Sarah Palin to Donald Trump

Sarah Palin hasn’t sent any e-mails to Donald Trump.  She is much too far away, she’s had a hard time thinking straight since…at least her fall, she’s trying to keep a low profile since her son-in-law criticized Trump, and she can’t find Todd.


If she had sent an e-mail, I imagine it might have looked like this:

From: The Woman Who Was the Ex-Half Term Governor of Alaska 7 years ago

To: THe Republican Nominee for President in 2016

Hey Donald,

I see you’ve had a hard time with people finding out who you really are.  I personally think you are disgusting.  Your remarks on that bus were  shameful, totally disrespectful ‘locker room’ garbage.  Yet I’ve heard much worse from Todd, and I’m still married to him.  I tried to help you out by saying I still support you, but you said the check was in the mail, and it still hasn’t arrived.  I know your campaign is in the crapper but I have some ideas that might help.

  1.  For 1 Milllion Dollars I’ll say I was on the bus with you and you never said that.
  2. For 2 Million Dollars I’ll get Dakota Meyer to say he was on the bus with you and you never said that.
  3. For 3 Million Dollars I’ll have Trig endorse you and you’ll be able to count on the vote of the disabled.  That’s double the votes, because they were not only voting against you, they were helping other disabled people get registered to vote.

4.  At the debate, the person asking the questions seemed to want you to explain how you’ve changed.  That tape was made over 10 years ago.  For God’s sake you are 70 years old now.  What 70 year old man could rape a young woman.  Play to the sympathies of all American men and say that you’ve changed because you are now impotent.  Who wouldn’t feel sorry for you?  That’s physical evidence that you are a different man now that you are 70 than you were when you were 60.    You don’t bother women now because you can’t.  Tell them about all the products you’ve tried and none work.  Since you never released your medical records, you could write a letter for your doctor to sign verifying that you suffer from Erectile dysfunction.  You could have all the women who you “respect” verify your medical condition.

You could also gain sympathy by reminding the electorate about Marco Rubio bullying you.

5.  For 10 Million Dollars I would say that you never tried to grab me, that you never called me a bitch to my face, and that you never tried to go down on me.  You gotta understand that I have worked very hard to promote my image as a sexy woman so it would be very costly for me to suggest that you didn’t find me attractive.


6.  After the election is over and you’re searching for more media attention, Bristol would make some introductions for you to the people at Dancing With the Stars.  If that doesn’t work, Todd needs a partner.


7.  Carrie Fisher definitely thinks you snorted cocaine before the debate.   You could say that you were using at the time of the recording and didn’t know what you were saying.

8.  Divert the media’s attention from the audio tape to your continued use of products from China.  You mentioned in the debate you were going to bring American made steel back.  You are in a unique position to do that since you are one of the people who has used Chineese steel.     From steel to ties you have shown you embrace different cultures.

9.  If you’d have me come to your rallies, and speak on your behalf, nobody would know what I said, and you couldn’t get in trouble.

10.  Dump Mike Pence as your running mate, and pick me!  Pence doesn’t support you any more because of his Christian faith.  God talks to me and he said it’d be OK to be your running mate.  If I were on the stage with you I could simply tell people they should vote for you because it was God’s will.  I know.  He told me.




19 thoughts on “E-Mail from Sarah Palin to Donald Trump

Add yours

      1. Indeed! In the interim, could you imagine a TV show like the one Trump staged about Bill Clinton, this time with surrogates for his ex-wives and the accusers whose settlements included gag provisions. Just think of the fun you could have with that one!


  1. instead of writing your bullshit and lies, you could do your part to hold Hillary, who will win in a month, accountable.

    On Friday we learned that the Obama administration actively worked to crush stories relating to Clinton’s emails after the story broke in early 2015. In one email, White House Communications Director Jennifer Palmieri emailed her counterpart at the State Department: “between us on the shows… think we can get this done so he is not asked about email.” Palmieri was trying to make sure Secretary of State John Kerry would not be asked about the email scandal on his Face the Nation appearance that occurred three days later.



    1. sickofshittygovernment,
      Whatever you object to about Hillary isn’t half as bad as Trump. Nobody suggests that Hillary is a perfect candidate, but if you think Trump is a better choice, then you are irrational.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. John Oliver’s “raisin shower” said it best. Hillary isn’t half as bad as Trump? If you take the “lesser of two evils” approach, the greater evil is exponentially worse. “Irrational” is too kind. If you think that Trump is the better candidate, then you must be a proudly ignorant, all-phobic, all-ist, anti-all authoritarian. The worst. A total disaster. Disgusting. That I can tell you. Believe me. Jump off the Trump Train and join the 21st Century while you still can.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I think it is obvious that sickofshitty is in the right here. Hillery had her email all screwed up. How can we trust her with the neuclear codes? She may press send and bomb Canada or something.

      Trump is more rational. He does not even have email. He has twitter and that is much safer to use when you are all coked up at three in the morning.

      If trump has a bad day he may bomb Korea or Switzerland. That is his choice. I mean if some swiss guy says trump has small hands or something trump has the right to blow them away.

      It comes down to choices. Can you trust a chick with bad email or can you trust a coked up guy with the “ready fire aim” attitude we need now more than ever.

      Plus if trump does not win I think he will beat me up. Plus I don’t want to be around when Putin forcloses on the USA.


      1. painchipeater,
        I think all you have to do is look who Trump has as friends and you know who to vote for. Trump seems to surround himself with powerful men…O.J., Epstein, Bill Clinton, etc.


      2. Trump really is a good guy. He reminds me of this little guy I met in Germany back in the 30s. He really turned the economy around.
        Can’t remember his name but he really could stir up a crowd.


      3. I think Trump is more like that Italian guy back in the ’30s and ’40s. His last name starts with “Moose,” but I forget the rest of it. He made Italy great again, and Trump will make America grope again. Duce! Duce! Duce!


  2. Are you an Average American looking for a Christian Values Halloween?

    Then head on over to…


    It's Trick Or Track, or Child Endangerment, so shake a wig and fill your sack with some two-tone moose-wrapped lice balls. Or pull out some Mystery Spook from deep inside Bristol's front-loading vagina. Swallow a dribble, or take a bite out of the Trig-like Longform Melting Chocolate Birth Certificate. Give away all your mainstream money at the Jack-Me-Off booth. Forever commemorate the carnage with the ex-governor-autographed Maternity-Bracelet-Modification and/or real-life Snow-Rock-Machining-Running actual-for-sure portraits. So get ready to use your rape kit and your emergency multi-city Alaska Airlines boarding passes, and prepare to slip on the Godless slime of Wasilla's showcase douchebags: CBJ-OBGYN-BS-style.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: