Palin Email to Trump: Never Apologize!

The following is a figment of my imagination.  Everyone reading would know that Sarah Palin doesn’t write or speak in complete sentences.

palin crazy glasses


To:  the Donald

From: the Quitter

Somebody said you apologized!  I think they were talking about this:

I’ve known you long enough to know you never apologize.  I’ve confirmed it with your ex-wives and your bankruptcy attorneys.  Each of them could set the record straight that you NEVER apologize.  If anyone in the lame-stream media did their homework they would realize that you were being “satirical.”  You know…like when Rush Limbaugh called a bunch of retards, retards.

rush animal in chains

Donald, it’s gonna be hard for me to keep posting things about the Olympics after they are over.  The USA women’s basketball team won last night, and I forgot to pretend to care.  

usa baketball

I posted a picture of the fam watching the Olympics,11 hours ago, so by that time the women’s basketball team had already played.  WTF!  Why didn’t somebody tell me it was over!  I give Todd one job and he screws it up!  How hard is it to watch television?

So tell me what my new job is before the election.  I  know you are going to lose the election, but I can help.  I already have a losers speech ready that McCain, that loser, wouldn’t let me give.  I can help you make more money on your next reality show since it looks like I’m not going to be a judge.

judge sarah gif

You could bring Melania to Alaska, and Todd could give her a job.  We could make movies about her new job; we’d be making it in Alaska so we could qualify for a film tax credit.  Dakota could teach you how to shoot guns, and get rid of any grandkids you don’t want around.

dakota meyer gun baby  dakota sailorgundakota meyer neverout gunned


If you want to learn how to fight, drink, or more effectively beat up women, I’ll introduce you to Track, my son  whose made the most of his amputation and his resulting PTSD.

track amputee

If you want to buy the latest in designer sunglasses Bristol can help you out.  If you need a good dermatologist, Bristol will introduce you to Dr. Me-off.

bristol baby bump

Don’t worry about Muslims and Hispanics in Alaska.  It’s too cold here for them!  Don’t worry about a problem in Alaska with women.  We are the #1 state for rape in America, but we respect women while we condone rape, cover it up by not paying for rape kits,and the APD never seem to solve a case.  Also, if you need a fire set,  we know who to call.

palin church fire

I know you value beautiful women.

trump beauty queen

So do I.

palin beauty contest

I know you like money.

trump money can't buy

So do I.

palin money mouth

I know you lack respect for women.

trump cher rosie

So does Todd.

todd palin natl enquirer shailey tripp

Don’t worry about people laughing at that Statute of you.  It snows a lot here so the embarrassing parts will be covered up most of the time.

naked trump genitalsnaked trump statute chaffing

If you want to have some friends in Alaska, Bristol can help you with that.

bristol's friend four


If you get a girl pregnant, we can deal with that too!

palin pregnant


If you need something to read, I know a great book:


boys will be boys two
My family rules in Alaska.  Obviously you can’t go back to New York right now.  I visit there from time to time.
palin pink shirt new york
I’ll let you know when it is safe to return.  Don’t retreat!  Reload.
palin gun sight

7 thoughts on “Palin Email to Trump: Never Apologize!

Add yours

  1. Malia,
    Thanks for pointing out Bristol’s closest and best dearest RUSSIAN friend MARINA! You know, she is from RUSSIA and got to hold Bristol’s baby first!!! Since Sarah HATES RUSSIA so much, Sarah must secretly FUCKING HATE RUSSIAN Marina.


  2. Malia – Of course he didn’t mean it! Trump is incapable of apologizing. He regrets some of the things he said, but he wasn’t “sorry” he said them. He is like Palin in that he never apologizes or retracts. Trump has no cadence when he speaks, he shouts, criticizes, participates in name calling, and spews hate! He is not a professional and certainly not someone who should ever be in the WH!
    PS and O/T – Wonder why Sarah spent two weeks watching the Olympics instead of campaigning for Trump? She must have been kicked to the curb by Manafort but now that he is gone, will she hit the campaign trail? Maybe Sarah will join Rudy Giuliani in his campaign against Clinton.


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