Email from Piper to Bristol: I’m Worried About Mom!

Sarah has posted 60 posts to her Facebook page since her  post of July 25th.  That was the last time she featured a picture of Trump and wrote an article about him.  It was two weeks ago (August 3rd) that Dakota Meyer demanded an apology from  Trump for the gold-star family Trump insulted.  Sarah didn’t comment about Trump’s ridicule of the gold star family or Dakota Meyer’s demand for an apology.  When the entire country is focused on the 2016 election, and the many scandals surrounding Donald Trump, it is amazing…shocking…that Sarah has taken such an interest in the Olympics.  Sarah has posted at least 20 Facebook stories and pictures about the Olympics, and we’re not talking the Special Olympics.

The following e-mail is fictitious.  It isn’t real.  It is only what I imagine Piper must be thinking.


To:  Bristol

From: Piper

Re:  I’m worried about Mom

Hey Sis,

How’s the mother of my favorite nephew?  Do you know where Track is?  Do you know where Dad is?  Planning any more trips to Hawaii?  Planning to have any more kids now that you have a husband, or is that only news when you aren’t married?  Was it worth it to get pregnant when you were my age?  Do you  think I could dance with the stars if I get pregnant?  Do you think mom would claim my kid as her own?  I know she’s older now, and it might be hard to convince anyone that she CAN get pregnant after her 50th birthday.  However I could carry her child and that would explain MY pregnancy.  Maybe we could use your photo-shop guy and just show a picture of a pregnant belly on mom, and people would believe that it was a miracle.  Mom could claim it was an immaculate conception.

I’m worried about mom.  I know she has a new writer for her Facebook posts, but does anyone really believe she gives a flip about the Olympics?  For God’s sake…20 posts!  Also, why would she endorse Donald Trump when most of America, and even Republicans, hate him so much?  Mom has made a living out of loving the military, but Trump says the military is weak, and disrespects the family of a fallen soldier!  Mom has made abortion the only issue she has been consistent about, but Trump said he was “pro-choice.”  Mom has worked really hard to convince people she loves God, but Trump doesn’t seem to care! How can she convince people that she talks to God if he’s never around? Mom has worked so hard to brand herself as a hunter, but I don’t think Trump has ever hunted anything, except women.  Mom pretends to be an advocate for women, so how could she endorse such a misogynist.  At least dad had age requirements.

todd palin natl enquirer shailey tripp

Trump seems to prefer younger girls.

trump daughter

Nobody cares anymore about mom.  “Five years ago, she would have drawn 25,000 people to an event, and today she would do well drawing 2,500.” And was she crazy to align herself with Paul Ryan’s opponent in the Wisconsin primary…that Nehlen guy?  Did mom not know before she endorsed that tat-guy that he was predicted to lose in one of the greatest defeats since that girls team lost 161-2?

paul nehlen

It was dad that had the “snowmobile accident” but it seems like its mom who has the brain damage.

I’m sick of this life.  Can I live with you, Dakota,Tripp, Trig, and Sailor?  If you don’t have room for me, maybe you could put in a good word for me with the Candees foundation.  I’m an advocate for abstinence, and I haven’t gotten pregnant yet.

piper and bristol

Love ya, Piper


10 thoughts on “Email from Piper to Bristol: I’m Worried About Mom!

Add yours

  1. Malia,
    I have never seen a person so obsessed by the Olympics. It means that she has an ENORMOUS amount of time on her hands. Malia, she must be sitting there all day and night watching TV. When does she work????


  2. I’m guessing the Trump campaign is not beating a path to Sarah’s door. Without a spotlight, she has retreated to binge-watching the Olympics. Of course Bannon’s appointment as “CEO” of Trump’s campaign might change her standing since Bannon/Breitbart News used to love her.

    The big question now is whether Palin is a TP has-been or whether she can be dusted off and given $$$ for stump speeches. She hasn’t been out there so far in her Mama Grizzly costume, but $$$ from the Drumpf campaign can fix that problem. After all, it’s just the $$$ that count.


  3. Stop been a libeling bully Malia. Humor is not meant to be a Dick. Piper is 15 and an amazing kid like her siblings were. School and working. Let’s not victimize these people anymore.


    1. “Libelling”, claiming personal knowledge of people she’s never met, playing the victim card. Sounds like Alicia has a new screen name!


  4. Those kids are severely damaged. Life will be a huge mess once the parents are gone or in nursing homes or mental hospitals.


  5. I have seen dysfunctional families, but DAMN Palins and Heaths win the Cup. The sickness runs deep and wide. It affects all of them. What a sick bunch, each and every one of them. Despite their happy faces when a camera is around, it’s clear that they are a deeply unhappy and mentally disturbed family. Maybe they will all move to Russia and remove themselves from the American gene pool. Otherwise, they should all be sterilized before they spread their own special brand of cancer to anyone else.


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