E-Mail From Sarah Palin to Dakota Meyer: I Want My Ring Back!


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The following e-mail is what I imagine Sarah Palin would say to Dakota Meyer if she were able to communicate with him.  It is certainly possible that she is semi-comatose after hearing Dakota attacking Donald Trump for disparaging our troops and for suggesting that all Muslims should be ban from America.  Make no mistake.  This is NOT real. It is no more real than the statement that Melania Trump graduated from college, or that Donald Trump sacrificed for America.

****************************************************************************************************************

To: Dick Meyer

From:  Governor of Alaska, Vice President Elect, Alaska Beauty Queen-to-Be, Fox News Contributor, Blueberry Pie Maker, Martial Arts Expert

palin thankgiving trig arm neck

Re:  I want my ring back!

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Hey Dick,

I know the lamestream media is reporting that you said hateful things about Donald Trump,  are you such a retard that you didn’t realize that I endorsed Trump so I know the media is biased and I know that can’t be true that you said that but if it is then you deserve to rot in hell because rock in rollers are holy rollers so I want my ring back and all of them and you should beware of fires because I’m reloading right now so don’t get your panties in a wad stay away from shooting ranges carry a big stick and it’s gotta be all about  how you think I could continue to support you and Bristol and Tripp and Trig and Sailor and the one in the oven if I can’t remain relevant  so think about the fact that Todd is feeling better and you should pay attention because he was on Stars N Stripes, and he knows how to use a gun, it’s hunting season in Alaska, he knows where you live, your North Korean allies can’t help you and the police can’t help you but they will refudiate you I know you aren’t really Sailor’s dad, waterboarding is a form of baptism, Paul Revere is dead so he can’t warn you that anybody is coming, you deserve whatever comes your way because you rescued the Muslims that were fighting with you who were not right-wignin, bitter-clingin, defenders of our  God, our guns, and our Constitution,  Tripp knows how to use a gun, Bristol knows how to use a gun, Track has a gun and is shopping for ammunition, I know you think Obama is your friend because he gave you a necklace and a beer but he doesn’t have the cajones to keep Muslims out of this country, Trump not only has big fingers but also the cajones to say what we patriotic Americans believe, which is that we won’t give up our Second Amendment rights, and we will make America great again by banning anyone who doesn’t share our Christian values, Bristol doesn’t need you as she has a good job with Dr. Jack-Me-Off, I won’t give you my recipe for moose chili, I won’t invite you on our next family vacation, family is supposed to be off limits and that includes you so the next time you target me for a blood libel think about the squirmishes I’ve had with a variety of people and if you misunderestimate me because I love the smell of boiled bear heads I’ll have my friend Ronald Regan speak on my behalf and the status quo has got to go because we love our freedom and we have the common sense to fight back and I talk to God and he doesn’t like Muslims either.

Sarah

P.S.  Drill Baby Drill

P.S.S.  It was Obama’s fault

16 thoughts on “E-Mail From Sarah Palin to Dakota Meyer: I Want My Ring Back!

Add yours

  1. Sarah would never say such a thing to an employee. There is a breaking in period for any male in the animal husbandry program. He may buck up and try and throw off the palin trying to mount him horseback. He will eventually will be saddled in or turned into dog food.

    So far Bristol can get him to run in circles. She can get him to eat out of hers hands. He recently earned a medal of horrer badge for getting serviced in bristols pen.

    He will not be put out to pasture. Not yet. He still has a little credibility and pride to be removed and processed.

    Like

    1. painchipeater
      I hear they are pitching a new reality show called “Medal of Horror for the Medal of Honor”. It’s about Dakota’s evolution as a person being exploited by the Palins.

      Like

  2. this is the bull shit that gets some peple to bleve all they think they know
    I’m not a fan of hers
    I think she is a joke
    but for someone to write this stuff is wrong
    how many dumb a s s will bleve this and never read the discloser at the top

    Like

    1. Oh I don’t know. Pick a number. Any number.
      Could be a number close to those who believe Drump will make ‘Merica great again.

      Like

  3. Malia, that is a work of art! You managed to create the word salad we would see if Palin had no writers. It is one thing to imitate the verbal nonsense that comes from a mentally unbalanced mind. It takes a lot more skill to create the pile of run on sentences that is Palin speak, in a written document.

    Like

    1. aj,
      I have to admit it took a while and I had to do a lot of editing as I am accustomed to writing in complete sentences.

      Like

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