Leave it to Donald Trump to be sensitive and considerate to all who support him. When Sarah Palin traveled to Ames IOWA to endorse Trump, she had to travel 3379 miles. The Republican convention is being held in Cleveland which is even further. It’s 3914 miles! Even Donald is aware of the hardship of Sarah, and wouldn’t ask her to make that arduous journey. If she was pregnant again the last 500 miles might make all the difference.
Before we knew why Sarah was not appearing, speculation was all over the tundra.
- Was Sarah staying in Alaska to visit Track in Jail?
- Had Todd had another snowmobile “accident”?
- Was Bristol pregnant again?
- Were her wigs all being re-styled?
- Were her panties all dirty? Todd’s been slacking off since the “accident.”
- Was she upset that she couldn’t bring her gun?
- Had they forgotten who she was?
- Was her monthly drug supply depleted?
- Had Trig learned to say “No”?
- Was she afraid she might see Ted Cruz at the convention?
- Did Sarah want to keep a low profile this next week in anticipation of the national attention that was going to be focused on Todd and David Chaney and the Secret Service?
It was Donald Trump who explained why Sarah would be at the Republican Convention. He said was because the convention was being held “a long ways away” from Alaska.
This latest revelation has given us a glimpse of the many other reasons for strange things Sarah has done, and for which we could not find an explanation. Trump has “known her for a long time” so he would be in a terrific position to understand what motivates the entire Palin family. Now we understand:
- Sarah’s reason for marrying Todd: He was close.
- Sarah’s reason for quitting her job as Governor: Her office was too far away.
- Sarah’s reason for Track assaulting his girlfriend while in a drunken stupor, carrying an assault weapon. The liquor, the gun, and the girlfriend were all close.
- Bristol’s reason for not going to the family bar-b-que with Dakota’s family: it was a long way from Alaska.
- Track’s reason for not wearing his prosthetic leg: it was too far away.
- Sarah’s reason for not waiving to her neighbors in North Korea: they were too far away.
7. Sarah’s reason for making moose chili: the cows were too far away.
8. Sarah’s reason for opposing abortion: the clinic is too far away.
9. Todd’s reason for using prostitutes: Sarah was too far away.
10. Sarah’s reason for leaving Fox news: Roger Ailes’ office was too far away.
11. Sarah’s reason for not spending more time with Trig: He was too far away, in Alaska.
12. Sarah’s reason for letting Trig step on the dog: The step stool was too far away.
13. Bristol’s reason for not using protection: The bedside table was too far away.
Donald Trump’s rationale for not inviting Sarah Palin to the convention could be a sign of things to come. Imagine Trump’s reasoning:
- Why does his hair look like it does? His barber is too far away.
- Why does his skin look orange? The sun is too far away.
2. Why does Trump keep marrying models from foreign countries? American women stay too far away from him.
3. Why did Trump avoid the draft? The war was too far away.
4. Why has Trump filed so many lawsuits? His attorney’s office is located just down the hall.
5. Why has Trump filed bankruptcy so many times? He can fill out the forms on line in the convenience of his home.
6, Why has Trump failed to produce his tax returns? Washington D.C. is a long way from New York!
7. Why has Trump suggested that he might quit if elected? The White House is too far away from his daughter.
8. Why is Trump so bad at golf? The holes are just too far away.