The Problem With Sarah Palin is She’s Just Too Far Away!


Leave it to Donald Trump to be sensitive and considerate to all who support him.  When Sarah Palin traveled to Ames IOWA to endorse  Trump, she had to travel 3379 miles.  The Republican convention is being held in Cleveland  which is even further.  It’s 3914 miles!  Even Donald is aware of the hardship of Sarah, and wouldn’t ask her to make that arduous journey.  If she was pregnant again the last 500 miles might make all the difference.

477222257TK060_Annual_Conse

 

 

Before we knew why Sarah was not appearing, speculation was all over the tundra.

  1.  Was Sarah staying in Alaska to visit Track in Jail?
  2. Had Todd had another snowmobile “accident”?
  3. Was Bristol pregnant again?
  4. Were her wigs all being re-styled?
  5. Were her panties all dirty?  Todd’s been slacking off since the “accident.”
  6. Was she upset that she couldn’t bring her gun?
  7. Had they forgotten who she was?
  8. Was her monthly drug supply depleted?
  9. Had Trig learned to say “No”?
  10. Was she afraid she might see Ted Cruz at the convention?
  11. Did Sarah want to keep a low profile this next week in anticipation of the national attention that was going to be focused on Todd and David Chaney and the Secret Service?

david chaney and palin  david chaney and prostitute  todd palin natl enquirer shailey tripp

It was Donald Trump who explained why Sarah would be at the Republican Convention.  He said was because the convention was being held  “a long ways away” from Alaska.

This latest revelation has given us a glimpse of the many other reasons for strange things Sarah has done, and for which we could not find an explanation.  Trump has “known her for a long time” so he would be in a terrific position to understand what motivates the entire Palin family.  Now we understand:

  1.  Sarah’s reason for marrying Todd:  He was close.
  2. Sarah’s reason for quitting her job as Governor:  Her office was too far away.
  3. Sarah’s reason for Track assaulting his girlfriend while in a drunken stupor, carrying an assault weapon.  The liquor, the gun, and the girlfriend were all close.
  4. Bristol’s reason for not going to the family bar-b-que with Dakota’s family: it was a long way from Alaska.
  5. Track’s reason for not wearing his prosthetic leg:  it was too far away.track amputee
  6. Sarah’s reason for not waiving to her neighbors in North Korea:  they were too far away.north korea

7.  Sarah’s reason for making moose chili:  the cows were too far away.

8.  Sarah’s reason for opposing abortion:  the clinic is too far away.

9.  Todd’s reason for using prostitutes:  Sarah was too far away.

todd palin natl enquirer shailey tripp

 

10.  Sarah’s reason for leaving Fox news:  Roger Ailes’ office was too far away.

11.  Sarah’s reason for not spending more time with Trig:  He was too far away, in Alaska.

12.  Sarah’s reason for letting Trig step on the dog:  The step stool was too far away.

trig on dog

13.  Bristol’s reason for not using protection:  The bedside table was too far away.

Donald Trump’s rationale for not inviting Sarah Palin to the convention could be a sign of things to come.  Imagine Trump’s reasoning:

  1.  Why does his hair look like it does?  His barber is too far away.

trump funny hair two

  1. Why does his skin look orange?  The sun is too far away.

MUST BYLINE: EROTEME.CO.UK Donald Trump admires pictures of himself from fans as he arrives at the Good Morning America studios NON-EXCLUSIVE November 15, 2011 Job: 111115P3 New York, New York EROTEME.CO.UK 44 207 431 1598

 

2.  Why does Trump keep marrying models from foreign countries?  American women stay too far away from him.

3.  Why did Trump avoid the draft?  The war was too far away.

4.  Why has Trump filed so many lawsuits?  His attorney’s office is located just down the hall.

5.  Why has Trump filed bankruptcy so many times?  He can fill out the forms on line in the convenience of his home.

6,  Why has Trump failed to produce his tax returns?  Washington D.C. is a long way from New York!

7.  Why has Trump suggested that he might quit if elected?  The White House is too far away from his daughter.

trump daughter

8.  Why is Trump so bad at golf?  The holes are just too far away.

trump golf

15 thoughts on “The Problem With Sarah Palin is She’s Just Too Far Away!

Add yours

  1. I don’t think it had anything to do with mileage. I think he was talking about the faraway look in her eyes when she was spewing her verbal garbage.
    She’s too far away alright.

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  2. Pretty entertaining post but somehow have come out with plausible answers to questions about two very illogical people. Well done……………..again,

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  3. Well, tRump seemingly had second thoughts about Pence and wanted to change his mind around midnight, but they say it was too late. I wonder, where it is written that you cannot change your mind until the convention… I noticed his campaign poster now has a T and a P (and there are ‘certain’ animation versions on that, LOL!). T / P. Could also stand for tRump and PayMe, couldn’t it? And the way some of the animations are working, it is actually more likely than Pence…

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  4. EVERYTHING PALIN IS UFCKED IN THE HEAD!!!!!
    http://www.lipstickalley.com/showthread.php/1056794-While-Sarah-Palin-Called-BLM-Thugs-Track-Palin-Pleads-To-Being-Drunk-With-Firearm-Abuse-Charges-Dropped-Judge-Appointed-By-His-Mother
    SARAH APPOINTED THE JUDGE THAT GOT HER SON OFF!!! HOLY CONFLICT OF INTEREST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
    DISGRACE!!!!!! ALASKA IS LAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Jason,
      I learned that lesson the hard way when I filed the ethics complaint that was denied by the Attorney General, reasoning that “legislation” in the statute doesn’t mean “legislation”.

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  5. Even though Donald Trump says Sarah is “too far away” for the RNC her heart still soars! Alaska will be represented at the RNC because it’s apparently not “too far away” for at least one Alaskan.

    Alaska Sen. Dan Sullivan scores prime time slot on Republican National Convention stage

    This isn’t the former mayor of Anchorage Dan Sullivan who will be traveling from Alaska to the RNC to take the place of the “too far away” former half term governor and failed vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. The former Anchorage mayor Dan Sullivan is really from Alaska. Just ask the party planner he hired when he was mayor or stop by McGinley’s Pub for a drink or three and ask.

    As the ADN reports, it will be US Senator Dan Sullivan who will travel all the way from Alaska to Cleveland Ohio to speak in place of “too far away” Sarah Palin. That Dan Sullivan actually is from Ohio but has parked his Koch funded carpetbag in Alaska on several occasions. Being a politician from Alaska, Dan Sullivan will quite naturally be compared to Sarah Palin (quitter, carpetbagger from Idaho).

    ” Sullivan will take the dais Tuesday evening with nine of his freshman Republican Senate colleagues in a bid to recount the party’s 2014 wins that allowed Republicans to capture the Senate majority, which they hope to retain this year, according to the senator’s office.

    Sullivan will deliver a speech on stage.

    Nationally, viewers are sure to eye Sullivan in comparison to the state’s most famous politician, Gov. Sarah Palin, who captured the country’s attention in 2008 when she was announced as Sen. John McCain’s vice presidential pick and spoke at that year’s convention in St. Paul, Minnesota.”

    Dan (from Ohio) Sullivan probably hopes his RNC speech in far away Cleveland Ohio won’t be compared to any of Sarah Palin’s more recent and infamous speeches*. Or Clint Eastwood’s well known 2012 RNC speech.

    * Visibly Disoriented Sarah Palin Gives Unhinged Speech at Trump Rally (April Fool’s Day 2016)

    Sarah Palin Unhinged: Calls Trump Protesters Petty Punk Ass Thuggery (March 14 2016)

    Sarah Palin Made No Sense In Her Unhinged Endorsement Of Donald Trump (January 19, 2016)

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  6. OMG! Lol! Your post gave me a good laugh Malia. Haha – you nailed it as always. I’m pretty sure Dtrump and Wasilla witch had a breakup fight over something – the list is endless over what it could’ve been.

    That hag was working double time trying to latch onto his circus act and I’m sure she expected to recapture that lost relevance – poor old thing! My oh my…. She managed to snag the DUHkota MOH guy but all in vain, huh?

    Her funds are drying up, everyone knows her dysfunctional band of gypsies are deadbeats, violent, uneducated, and they keep multiplying with babies out of wedlock – which is of course a Palin tradition. Haha!!

    Her entire family has become shunned in Alaska and the days of her toxic blabbering have been long gone. She might still own a few of the judges and other people she took care of back in the day – but, that’s all she’s got now.

    I still remain convinced that newest baby came from Piper. I don’t care if anyone accuses me of picking on a young girl – I have compelling reasons why I’m convinced but I also know it’s unlikely the truth will ever come out as so many other nasty things they’ve hidden.

    But, the best part is this – nobody gives a crap anymore. Who cares?!

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      1. Malia – I haven’t seen anyone else suggest my theory but that doesn’t change my mind. The reasons I believe Brisdull didn’t give birth to Sailor are based on a few things.

        1. We can probably all agree on the odd timeline, the masking tape numbers that she unsuccessfully tried to deny/change while losing her mind over the discovery!
        2. Her pregnancy photos didn’t look right to me from the start – especially the one showing her all in black and claim that she was 30 weeks – that did not look genuine – the belly was narrow and out front but the rest of her wasn’t pregnant.
        3. I looked through pictures of Piper going back to 2013 and I took a screenshot of one that I’m convinced is her and very pregnant. I’d be happy to share it with you. It was in 2nd half of 2015.
        4. The sudden decision to break up days before the “marriage” suggested an unexpected turn of events – one of the few events in their strange world that rang true with me – there WAS something big that went wrong!
        5. The faked pictures, timeline and how DUHkota took responsibility for the baby- I believe he IS the father but not with Brisdull.
        6. Piper’s body looks post natal in the Hawaii pic more so than Brisdull without question.
        There was a reason they needed to delay the “birth” and it was likely more about piper’s delivery date than anything else. I believe Piper gave birth possibly in October.
        7. Piper was very grown up starting in late 2013 – yet, the Wasilla witch posted pics of her in 2015 that showed piper much younger
        8. The pic of Brisdull with Trig and Tripp in Hawaii when she claimed to be in her 7th month – wearing a black matronly bathing suit doesn’t convince me at all – the pic is dark and only “suggests” a large belly in that suit.
        I’m not sure what your private email address is but if you provide that for me I’ll send you what I have.

        Like

  7. OK, back to election strategy, Alaska brings minimal votes, too far to go when campaigning, poor bang for the travel buck. Donald is running out of money

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