zimmerman smiling

It was reported that George Zimmerman was in Texas yesterday, in the small town of Forney.  Police knew Zimmerman was in Forney because he was pulled over for speeding. Fortunately the policeman didn’t give him a ticket, so Zimmerman didn’t have to “Stand his ground” and shoot the officer. The gun Zimmerman was carrying was reportedly in the glove compartment so it probably was too small to be an assault weapon. The question in everyone’s mind is what what was Zimmerman doing in Forney, Texas and where was he going? The police officer even asked where he was going and Zimmerman responded, “ no where in particular.” It seems likely that George was being evasive and was “up to no good”. Here are some possible reasons he could be in Texas.

1. Forney is only 22 miles from Dallas.

map dallas to forney

Maybe he was on his way to see the Bush library?

bush librARY

2. Maybe he was on his way to Tomball, Texas to attend the birthday party of the black teen invited to the KKK party.

3. Maybe he was going to join Rick Perry for a day of hunting at the Niggerhead ranch.


4. Maybe he was headedto the Evans Brothers Gun Shop to apply for a job. Their motto is,

We eat and sleep guns, reloading & shooting its our life.

He would be the perfect celebrity for this shop! George could memorize famous quotes from their web site, and recite them to all those he greets upon entering the store:

Arms are the only true badges of liberty. The possession of arms is the distinction of a free man from a slave.” —

“Pick up a rifle and you change instantly from a subject to a citizen.” —

5. Maybe he heard there was a war going on in Texas against women and he wanted to lend a hand.

texas war on women

6. Maybe he wanted to be thought of as an intellect, so he went to the state with the highest rate of illiteracy , and the lowest rate of high school graduation in the nation. 


7. Maybe he wanted to be a father, with no responsibility, so he wanted to live in the state with the highest rate of repeat unwed teen births. . 

8. Maybe he heard Rick Perry was going to run for President in 2016, and he wanted to apply to be on his security team?

perry security detail

9. Maybe he heard that Texas was the #1 state in the country with the most executions. Texas is so far above the rest of the country that it accounts for 40% of ALL executions in the country! Nobody is even close. Virginia is in second place for the most executions, and they are a pitiful 400 behind. They’ll never catch Texas. Even more impressive is the fact that judges in Texas have indicated, like in the case of Duane Edward Buck, that people should be executed if they commit a crime and they are Black. 

10. Maybe George knew that he would feel at home in the state with the most toxic waste. Texas has the largest number of coal-fired power plants of any state in the country. Texas burns more coal and produces more carbon dioxide emissions than two states put together.

toxic waste sign

11. Maybe he knew that Ted Nugent lived in Texas, and they have a lot in common.

ted nugent guns

12. Maybe he thought Sarah Palin was going to be in the state, and he wanted to get her to sign his favorite gun shirt.

palin gun 2

machine gun t-shirt

13. Maybe he thought he’d go to the college in Texas with that great look-out bell tower.

14. Maybe he needed a bigger gun.

texas gun

15.  Maybe he just needed a good shower.

only in texas