E-Mail to God’s Child from Your Heavenly Mother

To: the Child of God

From: Your Mother

Re: Your Situation


I read your recent blog post where you said:

“But my true spiritual identity is even better than proudly wearing the last name of “Palin.” How much better is it that I’m a child of God?  In other words, I’m not so much a “Christian SINGLE PARENT,” I am a CHRISTIAN who for the time being is a single parent. Being a single mom is my situation, not my identity.”

Are you out of your mind? Did you forget that this video was posted on You Tube for all the world to see? Did you forget that this video is called the “Situation” and is all about sex? In one minute, 45 seconds the word “situation” is used 17 times.

Do you realize that if you are the child of God, that makes me God. But I don’t pretend to be God. I speak to him, and his friend the holy spirit, but I’ver never said I WAS God. If you are God then you have to be responsible. What’s worse you can’t quit.

You can’t lie.

You can’t do cocaine off an oil drum. You can’t call people names like “bastard.”

You can’t shoot animals that you made.

You can’t make all of your little children work cleaning toilets. You have to forgive, and I can’t. You have to provide for the special needs of your special needs child, and I couldn’t provide for the regular needs of my four regular needs children. If you are God, you can make babies without wearing those silly padded clothes.

You wouldn’t be married to a pimp. If you are God then you know you made two countries, North and South Korea. You know you made the continent of Africa with a lot of little countries in it. You don’t have to read anything, because you already know everything. You surely know that Paul Revere wasn’t warning the British that the Americans were coming.

You would have to embrace all the people in the world, including Muslims, gays, and Democrats.

What’s worse is that you have done a lot to portray yourself as anything BUT a child of God.

You shot guns.

Instead of being a “fisherman of men,” you beat fish with a bat.

Instead of remaining a virgin, you not only had sex, repeatedly with Levi, but you talked about it on national television, and then humped a bull in a bar.

Instead of reading prayers, you wrote a book about drinking and having sex as an unwed teenager.

Instead of conveying the image of the Virgin Mary, you reminded the American public what made you famous, and it wasn’t your good looks, charm, or dancing.

“Children of God” go to church. They don’t have “Trial Marriages” with men who disparage special needs children, or homosexuals, or blacks, or me.

You can use God to your advantage, but you gotta be clever about how you do it. It’s much more believable if you say that God told you something than you are a “Child of God”. That would require people to believe that I am God. God doesn’t work for money, God doesn’t quit, and God doesn’t sleep with men who might be visiting Alaska.

19 thoughts on “E-Mail to God’s Child from Your Heavenly Mother

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  1. How judgmental of you Malia, criticizing those you don’t know personally. It’s a good thing you aren’t a Godly woman, though God loves all especially those who repent. When are you going to apologize for your lies and trash talk?


    1. Nicole I don’t know Bristol but she claims to be a Christian. Is there any Christian out there in cyberspace that condones Bristol’s behavior? She treats Tripp like a Chess piece. This is not a game to Tripp.

      Tripp will grow up and he will find out that his mom kept him from his blood relatives that want to share his life with them.

      What has Tripp’s grandmother done to Bristol’s God that warrants Bristol to separate them from each other?

      Real Christians do not approve of Bristol’s child like behavior.


    2. Kristy – I never personally knew Adolph Hitler, Osama bin Laden, Idi Amin, Jeffrey Dahmer, Jack the Ripper of a whole bunch of other dispicable people. That doesn’t make them any less dispicable. Girl, you need some new lines.


  2. I hope Mark Ballas was wearing a condom when he was dry humping Bristol on DWTS. No need to take any chances, those Palins are very fertile.


  3. If Bristol is the child of God, I wonder if God approves the way Bristol is keeping his Grandson Tripp away from the Johnston family?

    Bristol, I’m sure that God doesn’t approve of your junior high mean girl antics. You’re a mother now….. ACT LIKE YOU HAVE SOME SENSE!

    Let Tripp see his blood relatives, the Johnstons. That’s if he is really related to them.


  4. I’m not one to critique anybody’s God, but I’m wondering if Bristol’s God is telling Bristol to keep Tripp from his Grandmother Johnston?

    I really doubt it.

    So either this “Bristol found religion and is a Christian” is another Palin scam or another pitch for her reality show because no Christian would act like Bristol.


    1. I’m not defending anyone, as no one deserves defense in this entire situation but remember that the Levi Bristol knew and dated is not the Levi Sunny is dating. It wasn’t long ago Levi was pure punk and jerk. He admitted this. He also admitted to cheating, which is hard to get over for a girlfriend.


  5. No offense Malia, but do you realize most of your posts have the potential to offend a large number of people? I know liberals are naturally judgmental but you take that the farthest I’ve ever seen.


    1. Lauren,
      I just call it as I see it, and if people don’t like my point of view, they are welcome to comment, and I post all comments as long as they are not foul.


    2. “liberals are naturally judgmental?” Lauren: do you understand what projection is? It’s taking your qualities and attributing them to someone else. You just offered a perfect example of it. It’s a primitive defense mechanism used by someone without maturity or insight.


    3. “Lauren,” anyone who has been reading these blogs for the last year or so knows that you are the most judgmental of all.

      The Palins have rejected you yet you remain in a holding pattern.

      I hope for the sake of yourself and your family you are under a doctor’s care for OCD and/or depression (and I hope you have health insurance that covers it).

      As my mother used to say, you are more to be pitied than scorned,


  6. Lauren, Nicole- two MORE names to add to KRISTY J PATULLO’S dozens of false aliases and made up personas.

    Kristy, you are a loathsome piece of work. Do you actually believe you’re fooling ANYONE? At ALL?

    ** Anyone unfamiliar with this pile of psychopath should be aware that most any time you see LIES about Levi “cheating” or “selling drugs”- it’s Lauren/Nicole, Nikkie, Nikki, Susan, Susieq, Lookieloosuzieq, Accente, Bellagrazi, and God knows how many other names- she is a STALKER who is obsessed with Bristol and to only a slightly lesser extent, Sarah.

    The Palins have banned her from their personal Facebook pages and had their legal counsel send her a cease and desist.

    She uses “anonymous” very often but you can recognize her comments by the ever present made up crap.


  7. This is Holy Roller Nancy French’s declaration that Bristol isn’t a grifting, child-exploiting, famewhore who continues to engage in sexual relations with her live-in boyfriend. Bristol is a good Cristian woman, donchaknow. And so is Nancy French, dammit!


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