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“Sally” shared these tonight in a comment, and I thought you wouldn’t want to miss these…
1. Willow is not yet pregnant.
2. Bristol is not pregnant again, although she is wearing a of of scarves adn long sleeves in LA.
3. Sarah is not sporting scarves and a long black blazer.
4. Piper stopped calling radio stations before school.
5. Todd hasn’t issued a statement denying reports that Sarah denies the report that she’s still thinking (or something.)
6. She stil has her Fox gig.
7. She is still heading to Korea (one of them, all of them) to give her Intelligence speech.
8. She isn’t sporting any new running shoes lately.
9. She looks run down.
10. Her flying monkeys are deserting her instead of sending money for her pretend lawsuit.

 

Thanks Sally for your help!


David Letterman shared these signs of a problem with Rick Perry’s campaign:
10. Lost support from both the wack jobs and the nut jobs.
9. At debates, he mostly goes with, ‘That’s what she said.’
8. Downgraded from campaign bus to cheaper campaign Vespa scooter.
7. He’s too Mitty for Newt supporters, too Newty for Mitt supporters.
6. His new slogan: ‘C’maaaaaaaaaaan!’
5. Advisors are thinking of replacing him with Luke Perry.
4. Just went hiking on the border ofIraq andIran.
3. Even his wife is wearing a Herman Cain button.
2. Instead of ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ his cowboy boots now read ‘It’s’ and ‘Over.’
1. Even Michele Bachmann thinks he’s nuts


Who could forget Steve Schmidt’s explanation of Sarah Palin’s request to just call Senator Biden “Joe?”

Even though Palin remembered to ask permission to call him “Joe” she did call him “Senator OBiden” during the Vice Presidential debate.

It seems the Empress is still in need of help; especially with so many GOP candidates in the race, it’s hard to remember the names of all of them. Sarah Palin’s interview last night on Fox was memorable for many reasons. She used her Shakespearian skills and created another new word “shackle-y”.  She explained that Obama was not appropriately vetted in the 2008 campaign??? She suggested that the “title” of President just wasn’t worth the hassle of campaigning because she could effect just as much change as a quitter. However the funniest part of the interview was listening to her call Herman Cain “Herb” five different times. Greta tried to help the quitter by using Mr. Cain’s full name after Palin made the “Herb” mistake, but Palin didn’t catch on. She called him “Herb” again.

It appears from this interview that Palin is NOT running. If she did, she would certainly have to find some way to remember the names of each of the candidates. One idea is to give them nick names.   Before each debate she could just confirm with each candidate that she could call them:

1. Herman Cain – “Coke” (It’s black and reminds her of her favorite drug drink.

2. Michele Bachmann – “Randy” (Palin just can’t stop associating Michele Bachmann and Randy Travis. People voted for Bachmann but they were really signifying their support for Randy Travis instead of Bachmann in the Iowa Straw Poll)

3. Rick Santorum – “Sanitary” (Palin’s favorite way to butcher a moose)

4. Newt Gingrich – “Salamander”

5. Jon Huntsman – “Dad” (Sarah thinks of her dad when she thinks of a hunter)

6. Ron Paul – She doesn’t need to know his name.

7. Rick Perry – “Hairy” –He has great Hair.

8. Mitt Romney – “Nit” – it rhymes with Mitt, and his hair is white on the temples like the kids at the school Piper used to go to.

The only remaining question is how would the other candidates refer to Sarah? Possible options might include:

Empress

B.S. (for Beautiful Sarah)

Half-Term Ex-Governor

Quitter

Tundra Turd


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BW  ADDED THESE NAMES:

§ Ms QuittyPants

§ Princess Sparkle Moose

§ Queen of the TP

§ Queen of Victimization

§ Queen of Mean

§ Abominable Snow Bitch

§ Snow Drift Snooki

§ $istah $arah

§ Crazy Governor lady

§ Queen of Somewhere

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Shessh added “Mooselini”

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“Cassiejeep” added – whore of Babble0on.

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AKDavedownunder added – “Our Lady of Perpetual Victim-hood”

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Bonsai-jay added – Sarah “PermaFrost” Palin

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GypsyGirl added –  $aint $carah, the Patron $aint of Perpetual $elf-Imposed Victimhood.

******************************************************

Mr. Darby added – Princess Sparkle Burst of the Twitter Realm

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Mitch added – shrew

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Dis Gusted added – LIAR

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Sarah Palin has a serpent’s hear added – Klondike Kardashian

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sendlawyersgunsandmoney added – Quitter McWordSalad?


We each need to find something to laugh about as we approach the campaign season, and SNL provides that much needed relief.  


The month was June. The person being interviewed was Bristol Palin. The specific question asked was whether Sarah Palin had made her decision to run for President in the 2012 race. Bristol said her mother had definitely made up her mind, but she wasn’t permitted to disclose the decision.  Two possibilities were obvious. Either Bristol was lying, or her mother had made her decision, but wasn’t ready to announce it. Three months later we are still waiting, not for Sarah Palin to make up her mind, but for her to tell us what she decided three months ago.

Consider what has happened in the last three months. The Undefeated was defeated. Michele Bachmann paid people to vote for her in the Iowa Straw poll, and they did.

Bachmann’s popularity has reached new lows, falling into the “less than 2%” category. Rick Perry has declared his candidacy. Now his popularity is in free-fall as a result of his failure to out perform Herman Cain.  Joe McGinnis’ book has made its appearance, and Palin has been associated with a “fettish” for black men, and expertise in sucking a white illegal powder from the counter usually reserved for only alcoholic beverages. Track’s child was born. Willow is still being “home schooled” and we still don’t know if Piper is enrolled in school. Trig is still being cared for by a babysitter. He still doesn’t wear his glasses or hearing aides. He is now way too heavy to be a prop, but Sarah Palin has found a new bracelet to remind everyone that she has a Down’s Syndrome child, without the hassle of actually spending any time with him.

Sarah has taken trips on buses and motorcycles, but only broke trademark law while on the Bus. We didn’t see Trig on that family vacation, but there just wasn’t room on that motorcycle for the Third-dude.

Thus far there has been SIX Republican debates, and Palin has avoided each of them.

Instead of answering some hard questions about her North Korean allies, earmarks, or building dikes, she was serving on Jury Duty.If she declares now that she is running, she already has the alibi necessary to excuse her from the next debate. She won’t be able to attend the October GOP debate because of her previous commitment to give a presentation to the World Knowledge Forum.

Speculation abounds regarding the potential reasons for her failure to appear at the other GOP debates.

Oct. 11th –Bloomberg Televised debate at Dartmouth College- Palin will be giving a speech to the World Knowledge Forum in South Korea

Oct. 18th – CNN debate in Las Vegas—Palin intended to do this debate but this is moose season and she’ll be hunting for dinner for the rest of the year. She hunts so she can eat.

November 9th – CNBC Debate at Oakland University in Rochester, MI – Palin intended to do this debate but she went to the wrong stadium in California, where Ronald Reagan played.

December 10th – ABC Debate in Des Moines IA—Palin intended to appear at this debate, but she was still eating her corny dog with Michele Bachmann at air time.

Jan. 12th PBS Debate in Des Moines IA- Palin finished her corny dog and was set to be there but heard that Michele Bachmann was sponsoring another concert with Randy Travis.

Jan. 30th Fox News Debate Des Moines IA- Palin was planning on attending this debate but was rushed to a hospital in Canada for an emergency colon realignment surgical procedure..

Jan or Feb TBD on NBC in Tampa Florida –Palin had committed to be at this one but her friend Rick Perry was appearing at the La Te Da club and she promised to see the show.

February, (likely between Feb 7th and 13th in NH) – Palin had already gotten a new pair of shoes for this debate, but her good friend Michele Bachmann  invited her to see the historical sites in New Hampshire, and attend a bell-choir concert performed by the Paul Revere Rockettes.

Feb (likely between 19th and 27th) sponsored by Fox News- Palin became the victim of a Blood Libel and was too distressed to debate.

March 5th 2012- NBC Debate at the Reagan Library in Simi Valley CA, Palin declared that she would only debate the other candidates if Ronald Regan asked the questions at his own library, and since he didn’t appear she refused to participate.

Given the lack of debate participation one additional debate might be scheduled so that Palin could answer questions of reporters, but unfortunately her water would probably break and she would have to leave for a ten hour flight back to Anchorage to drive another hour to the Mat Su Regional Hospital to give birth to her 6th child which turned out to be African American conjoined twins. Palin’s returned to the campaign trail the next day. Her only challenge was determining if she needed one or two babysitters

Evolution of the Feminine Mystique

Just Say NO to BS

The Ignorance of Sarah Palin

Rebuttal to the Rogue

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