Who could forget Steve Schmidt’s explanation of Sarah Palin’s request to just call Senator Biden “Joe?”

Even though Palin remembered to ask permission to call him “Joe” she did call him “Senator OBiden” during the Vice Presidential debate.

It seems the Empress is still in need of help; especially with so many GOP candidates in the race, it’s hard to remember the names of all of them. Sarah Palin’s interview last night on Fox was memorable for many reasons. She used her Shakespearian skills and created another new word “shackle-y”.  She explained that Obama was not appropriately vetted in the 2008 campaign??? She suggested that the “title” of President just wasn’t worth the hassle of campaigning because she could effect just as much change as a quitter. However the funniest part of the interview was listening to her call Herman Cain “Herb” five different times. Greta tried to help the quitter by using Mr. Cain’s full name after Palin made the “Herb” mistake, but Palin didn’t catch on. She called him “Herb” again.

It appears from this interview that Palin is NOT running. If she did, she would certainly have to find some way to remember the names of each of the candidates. One idea is to give them nick names.   Before each debate she could just confirm with each candidate that she could call them:

1. Herman Cain – “Coke” (It’s black and reminds her of her favorite drug drink.

2. Michele Bachmann – “Randy” (Palin just can’t stop associating Michele Bachmann and Randy Travis. People voted for Bachmann but they were really signifying their support for Randy Travis instead of Bachmann in the Iowa Straw Poll)

3. Rick Santorum – “Sanitary” (Palin’s favorite way to butcher a moose)

4. Newt Gingrich – “Salamander”

5. Jon Huntsman – “Dad” (Sarah thinks of her dad when she thinks of a hunter)

6. Ron Paul – She doesn’t need to know his name.

7. Rick Perry – “Hairy” –He has great Hair.

8. Mitt Romney – “Nit” – it rhymes with Mitt, and his hair is white on the temples like the kids at the school Piper used to go to.

The only remaining question is how would the other candidates refer to Sarah? Possible options might include:


B.S. (for Beautiful Sarah)

Half-Term Ex-Governor


Tundra Turd



§ Ms QuittyPants

§ Princess Sparkle Moose

§ Queen of the TP

§ Queen of Victimization

§ Queen of Mean

§ Abominable Snow Bitch

§ Snow Drift Snooki

§ $istah $arah

§ Crazy Governor lady

§ Queen of Somewhere


Shessh added “Mooselini”


“Cassiejeep” added – whore of Babble0on.


AKDavedownunder added – “Our Lady of Perpetual Victim-hood”


Bonsai-jay added – Sarah “PermaFrost” Palin


GypsyGirl added –  $aint $carah, the Patron $aint of Perpetual $elf-Imposed Victimhood.


Mr. Darby added – Princess Sparkle Burst of the Twitter Realm


Mitch added – shrew


Dis Gusted added – LIAR


Sarah Palin has a serpent’s hear added – Klondike Kardashian


sendlawyersgunsandmoney added – Quitter McWordSalad?