Hey Herb, Can I Call You “Co-caine”?

Who could forget Steve Schmidt’s explanation of Sarah Palin’s request to just call Senator Biden “Joe?”

Even though Palin remembered to ask permission to call him “Joe” she did call him “Senator OBiden” during the Vice Presidential debate.

It seems the Empress is still in need of help; especially with so many GOP candidates in the race, it’s hard to remember the names of all of them. Sarah Palin’s interview last night on Fox was memorable for many reasons. She used her Shakespearian skills and created another new word “shackle-y”.  She explained that Obama was not appropriately vetted in the 2008 campaign??? She suggested that the “title” of President just wasn’t worth the hassle of campaigning because she could effect just as much change as a quitter. However the funniest part of the interview was listening to her call Herman Cain “Herb” five different times. Greta tried to help the quitter by using Mr. Cain’s full name after Palin made the “Herb” mistake, but Palin didn’t catch on. She called him “Herb” again.

It appears from this interview that Palin is NOT running. If she did, she would certainly have to find some way to remember the names of each of the candidates. One idea is to give them nick names.   Before each debate she could just confirm with each candidate that she could call them:

1. Herman Cain – “Coke” (It’s black and reminds her of her favorite drug drink.

2. Michele Bachmann – “Randy” (Palin just can’t stop associating Michele Bachmann and Randy Travis. People voted for Bachmann but they were really signifying their support for Randy Travis instead of Bachmann in the Iowa Straw Poll)

3. Rick Santorum – “Sanitary” (Palin’s favorite way to butcher a moose)

4. Newt Gingrich – “Salamander”

5. Jon Huntsman – “Dad” (Sarah thinks of her dad when she thinks of a hunter)

6. Ron Paul – She doesn’t need to know his name.

7. Rick Perry – “Hairy” –He has great Hair.

8. Mitt Romney – “Nit” – it rhymes with Mitt, and his hair is white on the temples like the kids at the school Piper used to go to.

The only remaining question is how would the other candidates refer to Sarah? Possible options might include:


B.S. (for Beautiful Sarah)

Half-Term Ex-Governor


Tundra Turd



§ Ms QuittyPants

§ Princess Sparkle Moose

§ Queen of the TP

§ Queen of Victimization

§ Queen of Mean

§ Abominable Snow Bitch

§ Snow Drift Snooki

§ $istah $arah

§ Crazy Governor lady

§ Queen of Somewhere


Shessh added “Mooselini”


“Cassiejeep” added – whore of Babble0on.


AKDavedownunder added – “Our Lady of Perpetual Victim-hood”


Bonsai-jay added – Sarah “PermaFrost” Palin


GypsyGirl added –  $aint $carah, the Patron $aint of Perpetual $elf-Imposed Victimhood.


Mr. Darby added – Princess Sparkle Burst of the Twitter Realm


Mitch added – shrew


Dis Gusted added – LIAR


Sarah Palin has a serpent’s hear added – Klondike Kardashian


sendlawyersgunsandmoney added – Quitter McWordSalad?

55 thoughts on “Hey Herb, Can I Call You “Co-caine”?

Add yours

  1. Malia ~
    Here are some other epithets for Palin that I have found in witty postings, Add these to your collection:

    § Ms QuittyPants

    § Princess Sparkle Moose

    § Queen of the TP

    § Queen of Victimization

    § Queen of Mean

    § Abominable Snow Bitch

    § Snow Drift Snooki

    § $istah $arah

    § Crazy Governor lady

    § Queen of Somewhere


  2. lol….amazing how this woman can convince herself of alternative realities.

    having dinner as a private citizen somehow equates to being the president of the united states and having heads of state come into the oval office to discuss american policy.

    i never believed palin would run and i also stand by my prediction that she will soon be bounced from fox tv.

    great writing as usual:)


    1. jadez,
      I think you are right. I think her interview last night was a signal that she is NOT running and I think Ailes is laying the groundwork for firing Palin.


  3. Well – this is rich!! I hope her fans were really paying attention last night to this interview with Greta. She took the first step in letting them know she is not running without saying it. She will continue to send out the fund raising letters, of course. She explained, again to them, she is a rogue and cannot be shackled with a title. Are they so dense and stupid they cannot read between the lines? Some are for sure.
    Greta seemed a bit impatient last night – wonder if the sparkle has worn off and she just feels used.


  4. One of the most funniest posts yet!

    Not sure the Dithering Diva can handle those confusing and elitist multi-syllable words though. She would just end up calling Salamander and Sanitary, both Sandy. Then the TPers would be all confused and have to wait until the next, new BFF is announced. Also too, they wouldn’t fit on the palm of her hand. May I suggest ‘Dick’ for little Ricky and ‘Cooch’ for Newt (along the lines of hochie cochie aka Newt the Cooch. ) . As for Ron Paul it would have to be Saul.

    Oh, and since I’m from SC and a g-employee, I must say ‘It’s a great day in South Carolina!’



    1. I’m from SC, too–and I’m so sorry about your new mantra/greeting. The only way Nikki Haley could be a a bigger idiot is if she were Klondike Kardashian.

      After her all expenses paid vacation to Paris, I’m surprised you’re not having to say “Bonjour!” in your best “Southern France” accent. 😉


  5. My personal favorites are:

    Princess Sparkle Quitterpants

    Former Gov. Blabberhead Sparklepants

    but I come up with new ones all the time. the funny thing is, no matter how outlandish they seem to get, everyone always knows exactly who I’m talking about!

    Reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite movies:

    ‘I am known by many names, but you may call me…Tim.’


  6. Anyone that donates to her now is donating to the ‘Palin Family Slush Fund’.

    I’m not anticipating any donations from her PAC to any candidate as her PAC fundraising window is closing quickly and we know how greedy she is.

    I also wonder how soon the PAC paid staff find themselves under the bus. Not running – what’s the need for staff. And in Palin’s way of thinking (I’m scaring myself in that I may be thinking like her – Send help quickly!!!), it’s more money maintained in her Family Slush Fund. She hates paying for anything herself from her ‘funds’.

    We’ve heard before the words she can do more from the sidelines. Her habit of repeating herself. But if she expects anyone begging for her endorsement this go round — ain’t gonna happen. That’s a death wish for any candidate and no one is willing to pay for her endorsement fees/expenses.

    Also brings to mind — the wasted $$ for the Undefeated!!! LOL Guess all the family will get copies in their Christmas stockings! PAC paid staff better watch out — she’ll try to pay them with DVDs!!!!


  7. I just call her Granny P.

    At the risk of sounding like a Pbot, I still think she will run. My temporary Pbot thinking goes this way: last night she appeared to have washed and combed her hair before she went on the air. I think this is a “lucid” period for her, in which she is as close as she can get to a normal perception of the world.

    I’m waiting for the pendulum to swing back the other way; for her “crazy” to kick in, her insane need for attention, her obsession with Obama, her delusion that the fate of the world depends on her and her alone.

    P.S. She has a lot of trouble with people’s names – they and their names are simply not important to her. She once argued with her staff that Mittens name was “MILT” Romney.


      1. grammy11,
        If they gave her the answers then let’s hope that it was just the medication, or drugs that she was on that made her forget.


  8. I would like to add that “words are wind”* to Granny P. She could say she is not running tomorrow, and the very next day throw her hat in the ring because “god” told her too. As a matter of fact, if she SAYS “X” then “Y” is probably true. Time will tell.

    *Game of Thrones reference.


  9. I’m sure alot of people with less-than-easy names will identify with this: I’ve made the observation over the years of having a name with two ways to pronounce, that the people that have few people skills and only use others to further their own personal interest are the ones that will never learn your correct name. Good people will learn it without fail, very swiftly. It is SUCH a good indicator of someone that feels kinship with others. That she didn’t pick up her errors ebb after Greta tried to set her right (something 99% of us would notice and correct immediately with no further need for correction) shows how little she thinks of others. Hermain Cain? Who’s he? Whatever, he’s so unimportant to the annointed Queen that she shouldn’t have to actually bother to LEARN his NAME? Who does he think he is? Underlying racism probably plays a role.

    I once worked with a self important horrible woman that basically decided she preferred my name pronounced HER way and took no notice of my corrections (which started out polite and embarrassed and after some weeks turned into angry, emphasized corrections with no politeness) and simply continued to call me ‘Tarn-ya’ rather than my real, given name.

    I realise that some people think of the other pronouncement as classier than my ‘common’ name, but there really isn’t much that’s more demeaning than someone that thinks you so unimportant that your name doesn’t matter. Sarah is one of those people; she doesn’t really care about anyone but herself, and therefore, why bother with names? It’s insulting and really demoralizing. I’m sure Cain isn’t impressed that she’s paid so little attention to him and considered him so far beneath her.

    As if I didn’t have enough reasons to despise this horrible witch of a woman!


  10. After all, didn’t the slave owners used to change the slaves’ names to whatever they wanted and what was convenient? Their real names they had spent their whole lives as were discarded and a new one put in place.

    I DONT see this as an innocent slip. It is not. She should know his name. I hate when we cry racism too quickly, but given her background I’m convinced it played a part here. No one will ever call her on it though, but Cain will probably privately think so. Heaven forbid if anyone challenged her on her disrespect! She would immediately cry victim as usual, on Twitter and facebook. When will this woman just go away?


    1. Tan,
      I agree 100%! It’s no coincidence that she constantly criticizes Obama, and she called Mr. Cain, “Herb”. I did a lot of research and I never found that anyone called him “Herb”. Malia


  11. The Queen of Babble On…

    so she can swan around flamboyantly dressed, a female impersonator, making a spectacle of herself wherever she goes, babbling her word salad.


  12. Malia

    LOL , what the WTF was that last night?

    She doesn’t see the difference between “a title and an office”
    When u hold an office,u have to DO things.
    When u hold a title, u just go places in ur bus/private jet & people cheer and everyone loves u!

    She took action on Israel by having dinner with prime minister! What an IDIOT.


    1. m
      Yes I guess the point is that “President” is just a title not a responsibility. Maybe that’s why she quit, because she just wanted a different title!


  13. Hey Chief Mew, can I call you CRASH?

    ADN reports-
    “By KYLE HOPKINS Anchorage Daily News

    Published: September 28th, 2011

    Anchorage Police Chief Mark Mew says he has been reprimanded by a city official but not given a ticket for a two-vehicle collision that a police report blames on the chief’s inattention at the wheel.

    Mew said he was manipulating his iPhone, clearing an alert message or messages from his screen, before he rear-ended another vehicle at an East Anchorage intersection.”

    Hey Chief Mew, can I compliment you on your officers fine work?

    ADN reports-
    “Anchorage police officers, Mew’s subordinates at the department, were tasked with investigating the accident. A 2008 state law made it a criminal misdemeanor to use personal devices with screens while driving, except under certain circumstances.

    Mew has not been charged or cited in the collision.”

    Hey Chief Mew, can I ask how often ignorance of the law is offered as an excuse by the accused your officers come in contact with?

    ADN reports-
    “Rep. Max Gruenberg, an Anchorage Democrat, sponsored the law and said Mew’s description of the collision sounds like a possible violation. Mew said he has not read the law. ”

    Then it gets even more entertaining.

    ADN reports-
    ” Asked why police believe his phone use didn’t fall under the anti-texting provision, Mew deferred questions to Doll, the traffic unit supervisor.

    “Others would look at whatever I say and claim I have some kind of vested interest in the outcome,” the chief said. ”

    Hey Chief Mew, can I ask how could anyone ever think such a thing of the fine APD and, also too, why not have someone at the APD issue a press release that there was no rolodex in your vehicle at the time of the accident. Offering as a partial defense that the APD does prosecute officers (which I thought was done by the courts), and that the APD has sent officers to jail (for rape on the job among other things- this too probably done by the courts and not the APD), could make one think that some additional scrutiny of the APD is needed.


    1. Guest,
      Thanks for this link! It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy! I’m not sure if we should believe him? Maybe he was having sex at the intersection, since we know that sometimes happens at the APD while they are on duty. Maybe he could get the Attorney General to issue a press release to the National Enquirer to say that it was not “manipulating his iPhone” because he had completed the task when the accident occurred. Thus he was no longer using the iPhone after the accident, so No violation?


      1. I thought you might be interested.

        Take a look at the comments on this story at the ADN. Some commenting think that this situation stinks. Some point out that others involved in a collision are often charged. Here are two examples where drivers were cited.

        Bristol Palin

        Joe Miller

        From the ADN story-

        “Mew has not been charged or cited in the collision.

        “In this case, I don’t think we’re anywhere close to something that is texting while driving,” said traffic unit supervisor Sgt. Justin Doll. The law makes an exemption for screens used in emergency vehicles such as the chief’s unmarked police SUV, Doll said.”

        Whether or not the exemption in law for the operation of the iPhone applied to Mew, this statute probably applied. AS =Alaska Statute. Quoted in full.

        “AS 28.35.410. Negligent Driving.

        (a) A person who drives a motor vehicle in the state in a manner that creates an unjustifiable risk of harm to a person or to property and who, as a result of the creation of the risk, actually endangers a person or property is guilty of negligent driving. An unjustifiable risk is a risk of such a nature and degree that a failure to avoid it constitutes a deviation from the standard of care that a reasonable person would observe in the situation. Proof that a defendant actually endangered a person or property is established by showing that, as a result of the defendant’s driving,

        (1) an accident occurred;

        (2) a person, including the defendant, took evasive action to avoid an accident;

        (3) a person, including the defendant, stopped or slowed down suddenly to avoid an accident; or

        (4) a person or property, including the defendant or the defendant’s property, was otherwise endangered.

        (b) The offense of negligent driving is a lesser offense than, and included in, the offense of reckless driving, and a person charged with reckless driving may be convicted of the lesser offense of negligent driving.

        (c) A person convicted of negligent driving is guilty of an infraction as provided under AS 28.90.010.”

        Another question that ought to be answered by someone. Was Chief Mew on the job when the collision occurred? In addition, was he driving a city owned vehicle, a vehicle which he is reimbursed for operating, or a personal vehicle? If he wasn’t on the job, then why offer the emergency vehicle exemption as Sgt. Doll did? If Mew was on the job when the collision occurred; then does the Municipality of Anchorage substance abuse testing policy require Chief Mew to be tested? Was he tested? If not, why not? The MOA was involved in litigation on this issue.

        “The superior court found constitutionally valid a policy
        adopted by the Municipality of Anchorage (Municipality) that
        subjects police and fire department employees in safety-sensitive
        positions to suspicionless substance abuse testing in certain
        situations — upon job application, promotion, demotion, or
        transfer, and after a traffic accident — and at random. ”


        Like Chief Mew said after the conviction of APD Officer Anthony Rollins:

        “Rollins was an anomaly in the department, which now must begin rebuilding the public trust damaged by Rollins’ actions, Chief Mew said.

        “The good news about the APD is we do something about it,” Mew said. “A good and honest department is one that investigates itself.””

        That quote comes from this story:

        “Officer convicted of rape was disciplined for on-duty sex



      2. Guest,
        Obviously he is not part of an honest department that investigates itself. The conduct in the “Press Release” sent by the department to the National Enquirer proves that they are not honest, and didn’t investigate itself. Even when I pointed out that their own records proved that their press release was incorrect, they did not attempt to be “honest”. If I lived in Alaska, I’d be picketing the Governor’s office, the Attorney General, and Officer Mew’s office. It is atrocious to me that people who should be held to the highest standards are held to no standards at all. How would they expect anyone in Alaska to have confidence in their government?


  14. Being former Craddle Catholic here, my vote is for $aint $carah, the Patron $aint of Perpetual $elf-Imposed Victimhood.

    Yeah, they’ll do her just $aintly.


  15. This morning on the View:

    Bill O’Reilly mentioned that Sarah Palin “lost a lot of credibility when she resigned in Alaska.”

    The video is on Youtube and Politico.com


  16. Another great post and very funny Malia, did everyone notice how angry Sarah got when, Greta asked if Obama got everything right by the end of the fourteen months, would Sarah support him? Sarah is still angry because he did not socialize at the big dinner in New York, and never followed through when she said “she would love to take him on in basketball (Now I wonder how else she would like to take him on, after News of Glen Rice). He ignores her completely and she can not stand it.


  17. Just because Palin may not run for president doesn’t mean someone may not select her as a VP candidate or keep her around as a mean-girl hate-monger. Or a candidate for some other position or other elected office.

    We all want to move on without this incompetent mentally ill fraud constantly in the news and our lives.

    Keep the pressure on and keep searching for The Truth. Always. Until she is done, done, done.


    1. Marie,
      I totally agree, I don’t think we should let up just yet. the good news is that because she has spoken out against Romney and Perry, that both of the front runners would probably not select her.


  18. Jon Stewart really tore into Palin’s latest ramble with Greta. He ended it with an excellent observation, “She either running or she’s crazy!”


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