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This is a spectacular fireworks display from our friends down under.
It was July 3rd 2009 that Sarah Palin resigned her position as Governor of Alaska.
She explained that she would quit being the Governor of Alaska, effective July 26th.
It was Sunday July 27th 2014 that Sarah launched the SarahPalin Channel. Now she has announced the termination of that channel. Thus she quit the SarahPalinChannel sooner than she quit her job as Governor. Her termination will be effective August 1, 2015. She announced the closing of the channel less than one year after she started it. However as Wonkette has reported over the last few months, Sarah has posted remarkably few minutes of video over the last year.
Now, her supporters are once again left asking themselves “why”. Why did they give her their money? Why didn’t they learn their lesson in 2009 when she quit her job as Governor?
In the promotional information on the channel she explained that “Plus, be the first to see my ideas for America and my take on the big issues of our time.” Does her closing of the channel mean that she doesn’t have any more ideas? Was she embarrassed that when she took on the big issues of our time and made a fool of herself? Her solution for California to address the water shortage crisis, was to build more reservoirs. She looked pretty stupid after that one! The Guinness World Book of Records hasn’t announced publically if she won the “stupidest person in the world” yet, but maybe they notify the award winners personally before the rest of the country?
The amazing thing is that one of the primary motivations for her fans to subscribe to the channel was to see into the personal life of the Palin family. There was a button subscribers could click on to get a glimpse into the daily lives of the Pain family.
Much speculation surrounds the fact that the end of the Sarah Palin Channel has been announced within the same month of the announcement of Bristol’s pregnancy. Maybe Sarah has cancelled because she thinks she can make more money from selling the pictures of the baby to People magazine? Maybe the father of Bristol’s baby is Black, and Palin doesn’t know how to explain a bi-racial grandchild?
The funny thing is that Stephen Colbert’s piece on the SarahPalinChannel is funnier than ever.
Most Americans celebrate the 4th of July as the birthday of our country. In a surprise move Bill Walker, the Governor of Alaska, has announced that heretofore the 4th of July in Alaska will be the celebration of the birthday of Sarah Palin. Of course it will always be the 4th of July, and of course Sarah’s real birthday isn’t July 4th. However, because it is the commemoration of the weekend of Sarah’s resignation as Governor of Alaska, both liberals and conservatives yearn for a day to remember her. Conservatives will celebrate her service to their state. Liberals will celebrate the end of her “service.”
Fireworks have always been associated with the 4th of July, and now they are associated with Sarah’s resignation from the last public office she held.
Now, when we hear the phrase, “Do You Love Your Freedom?” we think of America, home of the free, and freedom from Sarah Palin’s influence in our national dialogue.
People around Alaska are seeking a ways to celebrate Sarah Palin Day. Here are a few ideas that some have shared:
1. Quit your job.
2. Take drugs.
3. Have sex with somebody of a different race, that you don’t know.
4. Go to a party, start a fight, and yell “do you know who I am?”
5. Adopt a special needs child.
6. Go to a charitable event, and offer to charge them $100,000.00 for your appearance.
7. Buy a new wig.
8. Bake a pie for your husband’s girls.
9. Give your grandkids some cookies if you can identify them.
11. Play some basketball.
12. Hit a fish with a baseball bat.
13. Watch some women in a shower through a peep hole.
14. Waste some money.
15. Read a book.
16. Shoot someone.
17. Say something stupid.
18. Take a dog sled ride.
19. Build a dike.
20. Take a family vacation.
21. Hang out with some pedophiles.
22. Use the “f” word.
23. Have breast augmentation.
24. Get a tan.
25. Buy some new jewelry.
26. Step on a dog.
Have a great Sarah Palin day!
If it were Bristol, it seems she would love the chance to curse in front of an audience, expressing her rage.
We have seen Sarah imply the use of the “f” word, but haven’t actually seen her do that in public. She throws around the “WTF” letters as if that makes it acceptable to curse at or about our President.
Sadly, Jon Stewart will be leaving the Daily Show in August. For his last show he has invited, among others, Sarah Palin to retaliate for the jokes Stewart has made at her expense. He has actually invited her to return for his last show for a “fuck you” moment.
In case you don’t remember some of the skits on comedy central making fun of Palin, here are some of my personal favorites:
2. Paul Revere
4. The Bus Tour
5.Jon Stewart talking to Chris Wallace on Sarah Palin
6. Stewart’s Discussion of Palin’s Iowa Speech.
7. McCain continues to set himself up for a Sarah Palin joke
8. Stewart’s commentary on Palin’s call for impeachment of the President.
9. Stewart’s commentary on Palin’s reference to the War on Christmas.
10. Palin praises Stewart. Go to 3:00 on the tape.
11. Stewart on Palin’s appearance on Today show.
12. Racist or Not Racist? Sarah is just stupid, not necessarily racist.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of them are stupider than that.
It is hard to imagine a person so foolish as to pay good money to buy a book written by Sarah Palin.
However, to give these people the benefit of the doubt, this was filmed before this:
It was also before this:
However in a comment posted today on Sarah’s Facebook page, we see a comment from “Brenda Gill.” Brenda writes:
“I wish Sarah Palin would get in too but if she doesn’t I hope she challeges (sic) that woman Senator Wakowski (sic) in Alaska. The Senator needs to be replaced.”
The amazing thing is not that a Palin supporter was so ignorant. The amazing thing is that someone allowed the comment to be posted. We might describe that person as:
1. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
2. The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.
3. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
4. Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
5. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
6. A few clowns short of a circus.
7. If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
8. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
9. A few beers short of a six-pack.
10. Dumber than a box of hair. 11. A few peas short of a casserole.
12. One taco short of a combination plate.
13. All foam, no beer.
14. The cheese slid off his cracker.
15. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
16. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt. 2
17. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. 18. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
19. As smart as bait.
20. His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.
21. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
22. Surfing in Nebraska.
22. In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart than most.
23. One sandwich short of a picnic.
24. The light’s on, but nobody’s home.
25. If dumb were dirt, he’d cover about an acre.
The News today is that Sarah Palin will no longer be featured on Fox News.
This is one of my personal favorite appearances of Palin on Fox.
It has been documented that Palin’s “favor-ability” rating has fallen into the negative numbers. Yes, it’s true, more people dislike her than like her. She is at an all-time low of negative 24 percent among Americans. Perhaps even more significant is the fact that most polls don’t even include her as she is irrelevant.
When Congress reached it’s low favorability ratings, it was in the range of 7-11%. At the time they were ranked less favorable than cockroaches, colonoscopies, root canals, and NFL Replacement Refs. Sarah Palin is now officially less popular than Congress, which means that most people would rather have a colonoscopy than meet Sarah Palin.
What we don’t know is whether people would rather spend an hour with SarahPalin, or being with the maggot man?
Why I’m Divorced…
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ‘ Happy Birthday.’
I thought….well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids…. they will remember.
My kids came bouncing down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my handsome boss Rick, said, ‘Good morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday!’ It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o’clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.’
I said, ‘Thanks, Rick, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!’
We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Rick said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day…we don’t need to go straight back to the office, do we?’
I responded, ‘I guess not. What do you have in mind?’
He said, ‘Let’s drop by my place, it’s just around the corner.’
After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, ‘If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.’
‘Ok.’ I nervously replied.
He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing ‘Happy Birthday’.
And I just sat there….
on the couch….
Even seven years after McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate, he continues to open himself up to the wrath of comedians regarding his pick of Sarah Palin.