Sarah Palin has taken advantage of the someone else’s work again. This time it’s the Bible. Since nobody holds a copyright, and it wouldn’t matter to Sarah anyway, Sarah has given Bristol an idea for Bristol’s next book. Anonymous sources indicate that Bristol MAY be planning to capitolize on the number of people who pretend to read the Bible. Sarah Palin advertised her book on Amazon by inviting readers:
“to draw strength and inspiration from 260 meditations based on guiding Biblical verses. You are not alone in your doubts and anxieties—we all bear the burdens of everyday stresses, and for most of us, our concerns spread beyond our selves to our families, communities, and country. But Palin shows that with abiding faith, and by opening ourselves to the truths that have saved mankind for generations, we can thrive—and experience true freedom.”
Recognizing the potential for making money, Bristol has written her own Sweet Freedom. Here are the verses quoted, and Bristol’s reflections :
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Bristol’s meditations: I have never been married, so I have never defiled a bed.
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
Bristol’s meditations: I did abstain from sexual immorality. The sex I had was not passionate. I’ve had enough sex to know the difference between passion, lust, and just ordinary same-old sex.
Jude 1:7 ESV / 80 helpful votes
Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.
Bristol’s meditations: It’s cold in Alaska, so obviously God isn’t punishing me by eternal fire.
You also played the whore with the Egyptians, your lustful neighbors, multiplying your whoring, to provoke me to anger.
Bristol’s meditations: Jesus was just confused. He was thinking of my friend. Easy mistake!
“If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins.
Bristol’s meditations: I haven’t been a virgin in so long, that I can’t remember. My dad has already earned plenty of money off other women that he doesn’t need to make money off me.
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Bristol’s meditations: I don’t need to inherit the kingdom of God. I make plenty of money off pictures of my illegitimate kids, and the books I write about having sex with their fathers.
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
Bristol’s meditations: I don’t sin against my own body. I have many partners to do that for me.
But if the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not found in the young woman, then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done an outrageous thing in Israel by whoring in her father’s house. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.
Bristol’s meditations: I have my own house, so I’m not afraid of being stoned.
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her?
Bristol’s meditations: I have never shared my money with any of the men I’ve slept with, so I’m not responsible for their corruption.
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Bristol’s meditations: I have had lots of trial husbands.
You get the idea! The Bible can be used by anyone for any purpose.
I can’t bring myself to buy a copy of Palin’s book, but I am left to comment on the absurdity of Sarah Palin pretending to be holier than most when she was pregnant out of wedlock, Bristol has had 2-3 illegitimate children, and Track has at least one. The first …or even the second pregnancy might be explained as an accident. However by the third-fourth-fifth, it is a clear pattern, and it is clear that the Bible is not guiding the actions of any member of the Palin family.